X is chillin'

Overheard during a free period I have...

I am sitting at my desk doing work in my room, next to another teacher who teaches in my room during my free period. He is giving a math test to his class. A student comes up to ask him a question. They are talking...

Teacher: "Well, before you do anything else, you have to get x by itself."
Student: "Ok..."

[uncomfortable pause]

Teacher: "You're not sure how to get x by itself?"
Student: "No."
Teacher: "Ok, well, what is x doing right now?"
[pause]
Student: "Chillin."
Teacher (laughing) "Ok, well, it's chillin' now with what kind of sign attached to it?"

... and the conversation continued.

However, in ten years of teaching math I'd never thought of a variable as chillin'. I guess I could see the student's point. X, indeed, at the moment wasn't doing anything - just chillin'.

NY Times Sports...Get It Together!

Let me preface this little rant by stating that generally, the NY Times is the best newspaper, period(.) That being said, I am continuously disappointed with the Sports Section of the NY Times. Overall, their Sports Section sucks!

My first complaint is usually that it’s in the back of some other section, usually the Business Section. Next, is my major complaint… What the times loves to do is cover some obscure angle of a big sporting event, and give no, I mean NO, coverage of the actual event. To further complain, it’s not once in a while that they do this; it’s all the fucking time!

A great example of this happened right before this year’s NBA playoffs. The other day, I opened the paper and was excited about finding some coverage of the NBA playoffs. I don’t know what I was expecting, but something like: predictions, major story lines, I don’t know. Instead, I open the paper (back of the Business Section btw) to find expansive coverage on Kevin Ollie. What? You got to be kidding right? We have the playoffs coming up this week, and you have a multi-page article on this clown. You’re kidding me Times, right? What about a Where Are They Now, Teaneck Highwayman Edition? Or how about an extended edition of the upcoming Teaneck Jewish Center Summer League?

Ok, I’m done bitching about this for now, but not forever.

All NBA Teams

1st Team All NBA:

PG- Wade
SG- Kobe
SF- Bron
PF- Durant
C- Howard

2nd Team All NBA:

PG- Nash
SG- Williams
SF- Melo
PF- Dirk
C- Duncan

(I know these guys are out of position, but this is how I’d play them.)

Most Improved: Russell Westbrook
6th Man: Jamal Crawford
Rookie of the Year: Tyreke Evans
Coach of the Year: Jerry Sloan
MVP: Bron
Biggest Bitch of the Year: Al Harrington
Least Improved: Devin Harris

70's Movie Trivia

Ok, same rules, 70's.


1. I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this.
2. All right. This one time I'll let you ask me about my affairs.
3. Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed.
4. You have city hands, Mr. Hooper. You been countin' money all your life.
5. Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk
6. You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder
7. Here are your grade point avarages. Mr. Kroger: two C's, two D's and an F. That's a 1.2. Congratulations, Kroger. You're at the top of the Delta pledge class.
8. And I'm the Devil. Now kindly undo these straps.
9. Saigon... shit; I'm still only in Saigon... Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in the jungle.
10. I don't know what you mean. I can't tell you something's safe or not, unless I know specifically what you're talking about.

What's Not To Love About Dwayne Wade?

First of all, check this out:



Dwayne Wade is sick. He's just a killer, plain and simple. I'm not sure what in God's name possessed him to just go directly at Varejao and give him a nut sandwich, but he did. And the best part about it is that he doesn't stand over him not most clowns would, he just walks away like a stone cold killer and hollers something at the crowd.

But this isn't the only reason to respect the guy. As a Knicks fan, I'm mad excited about July 1st. However, I must say that I really love what D-Wade had to say recently about signing with other teams, particularly Chicago:

"It's like when you're young and at school, and you find out that girl wants you," Wade said Friday on "Mike & Mike". "The girl you had a crush on for a long time, wants you, and you get excited about it. But it might not be the right situation for you, you don't know. I don't necessarily think about it as much as people think I do."

"Chicago is my home city, and I love Chicago," Wade said. "But my heart is here in Miami.

Translation: "you don't gotta bang every chick that winks at you."

You gotta respect that....

90's Movie Trivia

Ok, same rules as the 80's trivia game (see below). Have fun!

1. Saying goodbye in their own way. Playing outlawed tunes on outlawed pipes
2. I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!
3. I'm a god. I'm not *the* God... I don't think.
4. You are an embarrassment to the game of pool and should be glad I even let you play at my table.
5. Pumping iron, and eating. Ain't nothing else to do in the motherfucking pen.
6. Fundamentally, people are suckers for the truth. And the truth is on your side, Bubba.
7. Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.
8. I was just thinking that of all the trails in this life, there are some that matter most. It is the trail of a true human being. I think you are on this trail, and it is good to see.
9. He was the only one I wasn't 100% on. I should have my fuckin' head examined, going on a plan like this when I wasn't 100%.
10. I don’t want his pork chop…I want his life!

NBA Playoff Predictions

So here are my not so bold NBA playoff predictions:

1st Round: All the favorites except I see a couple potential upsets. I think the Celtics, Mavs, and Denver are all vulnerable.

2nd Round: East: Cavs over Celts. Atlanta over the Magic (toss up).
West: Mavs over Suns. Lakers over Denver.

Conference winners: East = Cavs.
West = Lakers.

Finals winner: Lakers

Hypothetical Game of Basketball

Who would win the following game of regulation rules basketball:

Lebron James and nine randomly chosen 6th graders, some of whom may be athletic and some who might not

versus

The authors of Where's Luke and Hobo Con Queso combined?

A couple of random thoughts

While watching tv with my two boys on Sunday, a commercial for the iPad comes on and Thomas says, "Wow! Look at that big phone! Daddy, you have the same thing, only smaller." Later that night while watching some tv with Alexis, the same commercial comes on and she says, "Look at that big phone!" I have not seen it in person or read any in-depth reviews of the iPad, but I can't argue with my kids - it looks to me like a bigger version of the iPhone.

For all of those who are reading this and have kids, you'll be able to relate. There is nothing that tugs at your heart or makes you feel so powerless as having a sick child.

Fresh cut grass smells great.

There is no comparison to the taste of steak cooked on a charcoal grill versus a gas grill.

It's a little early for Mother's day, but I've got to comment on my wife. While I can't say my kids are perfect (because really, no one is perfect), they are pretty darn good. While I would like to take some credit for their upbringing, Jennie has spent many more hours with them than I have, of which I am very jealous of. In my profession, and most others I think, communication is one of the most vital components to a successful project. So you would think that I would realize this and communicate more with my wife. Nope. Maybe it's because that's just how males are hardwired, or maybe just because I'm an idiot, but I don't tell her often enough how great she is. So Jennie, if you're reading this, you are the best wife/mom I could have ever hoped for. Thank you for everything, and sorry I don't tell you that more often.

Enough mushy stuff.

Legos might be the greatest toy ever invented.

Avatar was a awesome in the movie theater in 3D. It was just OK when I watched it at home. Maybe when I get the blu-ray version, I'll enjoy it more.

The wii is great. I really recommend it for the entire family.

I really enjoy my job. I like doing what I do. All the hardships and problems which were big deals then, but seem trivial now, were all worth it when you have the finished (almost) product in hand.

Ok, back to work now....

80’s Movie Trivia

I love movies from the 80’s! I also tend to remember movie quotes, maybe because I watch the same movies over and over. Anyway, below if a list of famous quotes (famous to me anyway) from 80’s movies. How many movies can you name? What about who said them (the name of the movie character)? No cheating (looking it up). If you’re going to answer do not provide the actual movies, just give a number for the number of movies out of this list, as well as the number of character’s you can name. Answers to follow.

1. Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything.
2. Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.
3. Sumerian, not Babylonian.
4. All balls itch! It’s a fact!
5. Buckle up, son! This is the real world out here!
6. It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
7. There were only twelve hundred and eighty-one people. But to me, it was the whole world.
8. The Lord said, do whatever you have to do. And he didn't say "Joe, be polite."
9. Good, cause it's going to be filled. We'll keep going. You want another one? Just say the word say it. Instead of going to prison you'll come here. Are you through?
10. Now listen hear fairy fart, I don’t give a rat’s ass about your wimp weather reports.