New Jersey - Ethnic Minorities

This map is from the latest NJEA (New Jersey Educator's Association) magazine showing the counties of our great Garden State by ethnic minority percentage. Surprising numbers.

Welcome Back!

We are the New York Knicks! We are the New York Knicks! Say “Go New York, Go New York, Go!” “Go New York, Go New York, Go!”

Ok, enough of that song, but what a difference a year makes. I feel bad about bashing the Knicks all pre-season and stating that I was going to leave them. This may be presumptuous, especially with the Celtics and Heat coming to town, but it looks like the Knicks have turned things around. The Knicks are currently 16-9 and have won 13 out of their last 14 and are on an eight game winning streak. The Knicks are currently tied for 5th place in the eastern conference. Granted, the Knicks have had the easiest strength of schedule in the league thus far, but it’s still an accomplishment. So, all former Knick fans that have been in hidings the past 10 years, it’s safe to return. Let’s examine why the Knicks are finally a basketball team again and all the pleasant surprises thus far.

Amare Stoudamire! Need I say more? Ok, I will. For those who haven’t noticed, he’s had eight 30 plus point games which breaks a franchise record. Before coming to the Knicks I thought Amare was a one dimensional player. A great finisher and not much else. I didn’t know if he was a max-contract guy. I really didn’t know Amare was so versatile, but he really can create his own shot. I don’t know if Amare was always this good, or if he has matured. The main thing Amare gives the Knicks is leadership. The Knicks finally have a likeable vocal leader for the team and he’s the real deal. He really is worth all the hype.

They have a real point guard. I didn’t know much about Raymond Felton at the start of the season. I figured he was a mediocre point guard. But, Felton is good. Felton can break down defenses and controls the pace of the game. Felton is averaging 18.4 points 8.7 assists and 2 steals per night.

Also, Wilson Chandler is showing healthy development and proving to be legit scorer averaging 17.3 per game. He also grabs 6 rebounds a night. He has increased his scoring every year in the league. Chandler is way ahead of most of his peers in his development being in his 3rd year.

But, the biggest surprise has been Landry Fields. You don’t normally expect much out of a mid second-round rookie, especially in a mediocre draft class, but Fields is proving the teams that passed him over wrong. He is a great rebounder from the 2 position and is leading the league in that department at 7.6 per night. Also, since Amare has been starting at center, it helps to have a 2 that can rebound. Plus, he can score, averaging 10.2. Fields does the little things that help you win games. I would feel comfortable saying he will be on the all-rookie team.

Now, we should point out the not so positives. Gallinari has been solid, but has not shown mass improvement since last season. Sure, he is getting to the line more and making more foul shots, but he really has not found his role yet. Also, Anthony Randolph has not been integrated into the team at all. Mozgov has not proven to be a diamond in the rough yet, but he still has plenty of time.

But, all the negatives aside, Knicks fans can smile again. I don’t think any Knicks fans can say that they are competing for a title yet, but the foundation is there. Also, Melo recently stated that he will only sign a contract extension with NY. Imagine this same team plus Melo. In addition to all these positives, Eddy “Sandman” Curry is finally coming off the books at the end of the season. Thank god! The future looks bright after ten years wandering around a dark tunnel. So, if any Knicks fans see Isiah Thomas hanging around the Garden, run him out of town. Walsh and D’Antoni have assembled a respectable team, and for many, you can turn on MSG again and not get sick to your stomach watching basketball.

Can I Have My Vote Back?

In case you’re living under a rock and haven’t heard, Obama sold out again! Obama is agreeing to the Bush-tax-cuts for the wealthy. In essence, John Boehner and Mitch McConnell just bent Obama like he was Marcellus Wallace and they were the two hicks in the basement of that music store. In related news, right now, Obama’s doing a re-enactment of that scene in Animal House when Kevin Bacon is being paddled and asking, “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

I know some Democrats are going to say, “Well this was the only way to extend middle class tax cuts, and unemployment benefits.” If that is your position, need I remind of Obama’s 2008 platform? Obama used the sound bite, “The bush’s tax cuts only benefit the top 1% of Americans” one million times. I agreed with Obama that the tax cuts were ridiculous but even I got sick of hearing it over and over. Not only was Obama opposed to tax cuts for the wealthy, but it was his entire platform to get into office. Now, he extended those cuts, for two more years!

I really can’t get over this. I guess since Obama has been in office he is trying to win over some Republicans. Well Mr. President, if that is your position let me let you on a secret; the Republicans are never going to accept you. No matter your position on an issue, they will take the opposite side. We know Obama doesn’t support their position on this issue, as he admitted that he “regretfully agrees” to this. He caves on his beliefs like always to a side that will never accept him. If this was Bush and Cheney, and they had Obama’s beliefs, you can bet your ass they would never have agreed to this tax plan.

Obama has to be the worst negotiator in history. He starts with a position; let’s say for example, a single payer option for health care. He meets with the other side and they say things that are completely ridiculous like, “You’re going to create death panels.” You know, shit they pull right out of their ass. Obama then asks them what they want. Obama then gives into the most reasonable position on their side. Then, when there is backlash, they blame Obama for the plan and he accepts the criticism. You know that in 2012, the Republicans are going to blame Obama for having a bad tax plan, despite that plan being theirs and he will take the “L” on it.

Like Chris Rock said about Michael Jackson “I’m handing in my glove!” I hope the Dems put up somebody decent in 2012 to vote for, because this is it. This is the straw that broke my back. Oh Howard Dean, where art thou?

The Amazing Flying Rat

I hate birds! And for those who know me, you know I hate the pigeon more than any other bird. This hatred stems from a traumatic childhood experience, and to this day I have a hatred and fear of pigeons, which extends to all birds. I don’t see any difference between the pigeon and the rat; expect the pigeon can fly, making them worse than rats. Now that I’ve stated my bias, I have to throw this thought out there. I can not fathom why anybody feeds wild pigeons!

I have seen many people in Boston, New York, and other areas feeding wild pigeons on the street. I see people typically feeding bread crumbs, but in some instances other food, to pigeons. I’m trying to understand why someone would buy food and feed it to a wild animal, especially an animal that is dirty and carries disease. I see the activity of buying bread, standing outside, and throwing the food around equivalent to buying a bag of chips, and then standing in my alley and throwing them towards are a group of rats. If I fed rats, most people would call me crazy because I would be supporting a population of a dirty, disease carrying pest. So, why do people view the act of feeding pigeons differently?

Pigeons are dirty, smell bad, and carry disease. If you don’t believe me, read this. Plus, no one can dispute that pigeons shit all over the place.

So why would anyone want to encourage and support a population of disease ridden, shit taking, disgusting animals? What does one gain by standing outside and throwing bread crumbs or food to pigeons? This action of feeding the birds causes the birds to flock to where the food is thrown, fight over the food, and then fly overhead, at which time you run the risk of one of them shitting on you. The best case scenario of feeding a pigeon is you don’t get shit on. The worst case, a pigeon flies on you, you get a terrible disease and die.

Unless you’re crazy, you should not feed pigeons. If someone is genuinely crazy it may be understandable that they would feed pigeons, if they are not able to reason. But, if you are not crazy, and have the ability to reason, there is no rational justification one can provide to feeding pigeons. If you’re not concerned about the disease the birds carry, think about the rest of us who are concerned.

I’m employing all of you who read this blog to spread the word… Stop feeding the fucking pigeons!

I Can’t Figure Them Out!

The Giants crushed The Redskins last night 31-7. The G-Men now stand at 8-4 tied with the Eagles for the best record in the NFC East. The season has been strange for the G-Men. The Giants have ridden a roller coaster this season, and I can’t figure out if this team is for real.

The expectation prior to the start of this season was not great. Most power ranking had the Giants at the middle of the pack and most people predicted the G-Men finishing around 8-8. I agreed with that prediction. The season started out bad. After two losses in the second and third week the Giants feel to 1-2. Many were calling for Coughlin’s head and questions began about who would be in the Giants locker-room at the end of the season. Jacobs got so frustrated during a game that he threw his helmet in the stands!

Then, the Giants figured things out. They rattled off five straight wins. Analysts and announcers were hailing the Giants as the best in the NFC and perhaps the best in the NFL. Ahmad Bradshaw was emerging as a premiere running back in the league. But, I think it was the Giants D, particularly the pass rush that was so great during this winning streak. The Giants were knocking out Quarterbacks like Mike Tyson at the beginning of his career. Two great knockouts were when the Giants knocked out Cutler, and then took out Romo for the season. Simply stated, the Giants D seemed scary.

But, then came two bad Divisional losses. The first loss was terrible! The Giants got pounded by a 1-7 Cowboys team after a coaching change. Then, the Giants lost another close Divisional game to the Eagles. Bradshaw seemed to be fumbling the ball every other play and looked like Tiki Barber early is his career. The defensive was not imposing and the Giants looked like they were exposed as frauds. The Giants were 6-4.

Now, the past two weeks the Giants look great again. The Giants beat the Jaguars and trounced the Redskins.

It’s been a strange season in that there don’t appear to be any dominant teams, especially in the NFC. The Eagles looks tough but certainly beatable. The Falcons have the NFC’s best record but most are not sold on them. The Bears are 9-3 but have looked bad at various points in the season. The Saints look good but great. At this time last season the Saints and Colts were both on the verge of undefeated seasons. The Saints were easily the class of the NFC and the Colts the AFC. This season, who knows? Because of the uncertainty of who’s top dog, I would not be surprised about anything that happens for the remainder of the season. I could see the G-Men getting housed coming down the stretch of the season and not making the playoffs. I could just as easily see the G-Men making a magical run to the Super Bowl. I hope it’s the latter.

Gold Speaks

This YouTube clip was recently unearthed by BotG, profilic blogger of Hobo Con Queso.

This is friend-of-the-blog Gold speaking at Harvest Fest in Wisconsin about marijuana policy reform some time ago.  Gold has pushed for reform in this area for a long time, and I believe I speak for the co-authors when I say that we endorse Gold's views in this area.  Listen to Gold speak below:

UPDATE (12/7/2010): You can also see two more views of his speech! (Thanks, BotG) - Here and here

Losing Touch with Maynod

Ok, so Maynod is just an alias for an old friend of mine, and all eight people who read this blog will figure out quickly who Maynod is. Maynod Nailcub, was a good friend of mine and my college roommate at Rutgers. We were very close, and now, we don’t talk at all. People come and go, in and out of your life, but losing touch with Maynod was very strange for me. Losing touch with Maynod has been very complex.

I met Maynod my first semester at Rutgers. Maynod did not blow me away in my first meeting with him. My first semester at Rutgers I lived with Maynod, my brother Walt Clyde, and a friend/acquaintance of Walt. Maynod, Walt and I met in the New Brunswick area prior to the beginning of the semester to get to know each other, and also talk about living together. I guess at the time, I was a little overwhelmed with moving away from home for the first time, so in my meeting with Maynod, I had more anxiety about being away from home, than I was concerned about connecting or getting to know Maynod.

My initial impression was that Maynod seemed a little strange, a Kramer (from Seinfeld) type. Maynod was Middle Eastern and had a bizarre appearance to me. He introduced himself by his nickname, and then quickly explained that his nickname was not connected to his male anatomy at all. Maynod seemed very eager, full of life, and borderline hyperactive. I was little concerned that we would not connect well, coming from two different backgrounds and personality styles.

However, when I started living with Maynod, we clicked right away. My brother Walt was very involved with his soon to be wife, and it wasn’t long after living with Walt that he spent majority of his time and his future wife’s dorm room. Our other roommate was very strange, was into ballroom dancing, and also kid of a mooch. He didn’t have any money, and was always grubbing. Maynod and I bonded over our dislike for the other roommate.

I found that Maynod and I had similar interests. Maynod and I both liked playing the same video games and we both smoked at the time. Maynod and I became friends with the girls who lived across the hall. Maynod introduced me to his friends that he had met in previous semesters, like Little Danny and Solo. I latched onto this group and we all became friends. I maintained a close friendship with Maynod, my best friend at Rutgers, until I graduated.

Over my time at Rutgers with Maynod, I had introduced him to various friends and acquaintances from my hometown of Teaneck. Maynod became friends with my friends from home. Two friends that Maynod grew particularly close with were my best friend Gold and Notorious LJT from Where’s Luke fame. Maynod also grew pretty close with everyone from my family. Throughout our time at Rutgers, and after graduation Maynod would remark how he felt that there was a bond between us that made us like “brothers.”

Maynod is smart and has a gift for gab. I think it is fair to say Maynod is charismatic. Maynod was an engineering major and landed a job at a big construction company after graduation. I began working in social services for the State of New Jersey. My best friend from home, Gold, who went to school in Wisconsin, moved back to the tri-state area and was working for the Quakers. Not wanting to live at home for a long time, I suggested to Maynod and Gold that we live together. Maynod was dating one of the girls that we met at Rutgers who had lived across the hall. Maynod, Gold, and I moved to Hoboken in the fall of 2002.

While living in Hoboken, Maynod professed to me several times that he really enjoyed working for corporate America. Maynod stated that he loved the company he was working for, but desired “more” out of life than engineering. After doing research, Maynod stated that he was going to be back to school to get his M.B.A.

Maynod moved away to upstate New York in 2004 to get his M.B.A. This is when I first started to lose touch with Maynod. Maynod and I would talk sporadically and less frequently than we ever had. LJT and Maynod seemed to be growing somewhat closer. LJT and I visited Maynod at his graduate school. For the first time, I felt there was a disconnect between Maynod and I. Maynod was still dating the girl from home, but also had engaged in a new relationship at school. LJT and I remarked to each other that it didn’t appear kosher. Maynod also appeared more career driven than ever before.

Upon graduation from his M.B.A program, Maynod landed a good job at a big corporation. Maynod became even more distant from everybody except, perhaps, LJT. Despite our growing disconnect, Maynod joined me and my family at Cape Cod in the summer of 2006 and we attended Side Bar’s wedding at Cape Cod. Maynod and I hung out most of the night and it appeared that our friendship had picked up where we once left off. Maynod visited me at my new apartment in Hackensack for a card game several months after the wedding.

However, there was still a growing divide between Maynod and the Teaneck crew. Maynod did not return calls from me, Gold, LJT and also from several of my Rutgers friends. It appeared that Maynod was intentionally distancing himself from his old friends.

The big incident that changed than course of our friendship came in 2007. Maynod had met a girl at his job working for his new big corporation. Maynod professed that he was doing very well at work and becoming a major player. Maynod stated that the woman that he met was also a big player in the organization. Maynod got engaged shortly after meeting her. Although Maynod stated that he wanted all his friends to meet his new partner, and attend their wedding, there was something amiss. Then, I got a call from LJT that Maynod had sent him a wedding invitation, in Maynod’s home country in the Middle East. LJT called me to inquire as to whether I would attend the wedding. I informed LJT that I not received an invitation yet. And, as it turns out, I never did receive an invitation!

I was very hurt that not only did Maynod not invite me to his wedding, but had invited someone that I introduced him to. I speculated why Maynod did not invite me. I reflected and felt that perhaps Maynod felt closer to LJT, or maybe Maynod felt that LJT was a better business connection. In the end, I never got an answer.

I waited several months and then tried calling Maynod. Maynod did not return the call. Then, in 2008, after a night of heavy drinking with LJT, Gold and other people from Teaneck, we called Maynod. We took turns leaving him inappropriate and mean messages. I guess it was official that the Teaneck crew and Maynod were broken up at that point.

To this day I have not spoken with Maynod. I have spoken individually with LJT and Gold about showing up at Maynod’s place of residence and inquiring why he has not called anyone back in three years. Although we concluded that showing up at Maynod’s house is borderline stalkerish, we speculated as to Maynod’s reaction. Would he not answer the door? Would he try and weasel out an excuse like he lost his phone which included the contact information for everyone he knew? We also joked that we should go to Maynod’s house in disguise to surprise him, like a Groucho Marx fake nose and glasses.

In any event, like a bad breakup with a girlfriend, I still want to know what happened between Maynod and I. What changed for Maynod? Does he feel bad that he never invited me to his wedding and did not know how to handle the situation after that? Does he feel that to move up in the corporate world, he needs to only be friends with people who work for corporations? I’m still left with more questions than answers and don’t have any closure to my relationship with Maynod.

Hating on the Nyets and New Jersey

People hate the NJ Nets! Why? I don’t know for sure, but I do have theory. New Jersey has something like 9 million people who live in a dense area but the Nets are hard pressed to fill half the arena playing one of the most popular US sports. I think the reason is, people love to hate on New Jersey, even people from New Jersey, and the Nets get the shit end of the stick because of that.

Fact: The Nets have been a much better franchise than the Knicks for the past decade. The fact is the Nets have made the NBA Finals twice in the past decade. They have also made the playoffs seven times in the past decade. The Knicks, by comparison, have not had a winning record in the past 10 years and only made the playoffs once, as the 8th seed, at which time ironically they were swept by the Nets.

So, the Nets have obviously been better, for a long time than the Knicks. Yet, even in Northern New Jersey, the Knicks are the team to root for. Why? The Knicks have made one bad move after another, yet, even at the height of Knicks suckdom, they sell out games. By contrast, during the Jason Kidd years in which they made the NBA finals twice, the Nets were hard pressed to fill the arena.

I have attended some Nets games over the past 10 years and it has been a sad sight. Even when they were good, the arena was half empty and, of those in attendance, only a small percentage were cheering for the Nets. Often times, shopping in NJ over the past decade, at Models or Foot Locker, Nets tickets were given away with crappy shirts and shoes, yet people still would not go to the games, and if they did, it was to see the opposing team.

The Nets are like the fat kid that lost weight, but still gets picked on for being the fat kid. People picked on them when they sucked, yet, even when they got good, people in NJ still viewed them as the easy target to hate.

The past summer should have been the time that Nets made the big dive into the free agent market. Last summer a Russian billionaire (hence the Name Nyets) became the principal owner of the team. This Russian dude seems mad cool, billionaire playboy type, who travels in a private jet with hot chicks. Also, Jay-Z is a partial owner, which is obviously mad cool. They also have cap space and young talent, yet they can’t attract any big name free agents because they play in Jersey.

It breaks down like this; if you live in North Jersey you falsely identify yourself as a New Yorker. If you live in South Jersey, you falsely identify yourself as Philadelphian. Hence, if you live in North Jersey you root for the Knicks. If you live in South Jersey you root for Sixers. Nowhere in NJ is Net country, because people from NJ hate their own state. As an aside, I think this self-hatred and desire to latch onto a big city for identity shows in our feelings towards Rutgers Football as well. When I used to meet people, especially when I was younger, I would advise people I lived “right outside New York.” I don’t even think I used the words “New” or “Jersey.” I guess the Nets need to move to Brooklyn to get some love because New Jerseyeans will never embrace a sports team as their own because of their own NJ identity issues.

New York Icons / Random Notes 11.21.10

1)  New York Icons

Howard Stern is running out of time in his current contract with Sirius Radio.  Last week, he did two amazing interviews with Jay-Z and Billy Joel.  Great radio.  The interviews were sincere, candid, and compelling.  Both Jay-Z and Billy answered Howard's questions openly and thoroughly, and answered questions about their creative process.  Jay-Z is promoting a book, and the interview served its purpose as I'd love to read the book now.  The Billy Joel session made me realize just how talented Billy Joel is, regardless of whether or not his music is your cup of tea.  (I'd say the same about Jay-Z, except I already realized how talented he is.)

Overall, I reflected on the fact that these three figures were so compelling, as all three truly are New York icons.  All three were born and raised in New York.  All three are icons for our generation (maybe Billy Joel a little earlier than us), and all three have built their legacies on their own terms.  None of the three are conventional, and none of the three sound like people we'd heard before them.  They are all influential and have rich careers that have lasted years.  All three still work and reside in New York primarily.  To me, they are three people that are unquestionably different facets of New York People, who did it their way.

2)  Derek Jeter

Recently, our own blogger Moon was on Facebook lamenting the treatment of Derek Jeter by the New York Yankees.  Moon feels like Derek Jeter is a New York icon as well, and the Yankees are doing him a disservice by not treating him as such.  Has Derek Jeter earned a substantial contract extension that might be a "thank you" of sorts for being the face of the franchise for so long?

3)  Randomness...

(a)  Blake Griffin absolutely shit on the Knicks last night, even though the Knicks won.  These highlights rank up there with the athletic dunks of Dwight Howard, Shawn Kemp, etc...  He is worth the hype and we can probably give him Rookie of the Year right now.  Some manly shit from a guy with an un-manly first name.

(b)  Your own WCF is laying down the groundwork to go back to school for a Ph.D.  I do not want to reveal the details yet (superstitious, until it all works out), but stay tuned.

(c)  Would any of your Teaneckites consider raising your family and settling in Teaneck?  All of us seem pretty attached to Teaneck... why did most of us move to other places?  Thanksgiving makes me think about how all of us attempt to reunite even as we have entered our 30s... and therefore that the allure of meeting up in our hometown still pulls at all of us... and I am bummed out that my knee keeps me from participating in the annual Toilet Bowl football game.

Bold and Not-So-Bold NBA Predictions

1. Brook Lopez will be an all-star in a break out year.
2. Rajon Rondo will be the starting PG for the eastern conference
3. The Knicks will not make the playoffs with their current roster
4. The Cavs will not make the playoffs either.
5. The Lakers will cruise to the NBA finals.
6. Carmelo will not be traded before the end of the NBA season
7. The Bulls will not make it to the Eastern Conference Finals
8. The Bucks will be over .500
9. The Jazz will win fewer games this year than last year.
10.The Heat will win a lot of games.
11. The Magic will not make it out of the East.
12. John Wall and Blake Griffin will be co-winners of Rookie of the Year.
13. The Hawks will win fewer games this year than last.
14. The Celtics will win more games this year than last.
15. Michael Beasley has a good statistical year despite the Wolves sucking ass.
16. Kevin Garnett is back to old form!
17. People still boo Lebron, but dies down by season end (outside of Cleveland, NY).
18. 1st team all NBA at the end of the year will be- Howard-Durant-Lebron-Kobe-Rondo
19. The Nets make the playoffs, and then get swept!
20 The Celtics win the whole thing in a hard fought series with the Lakers!

We Believe in Nothing!

The above quote is from the Big Lebowski regarding Nihilism, in case anybody missed that one. Anyway, the point of this post is about Tea Baggers. No, I’m not talking about some of nice girls with that I hung out with at Rutgers (HY), but the Tea Party Movement. It’s pretty easy to write a post bad mouthing the Tea Party, but that it is not my intention. I actually have been curious who the Tea Party is and what they stand for. I’ve concluded, like they are akin to Nihilists in Lebowski, “They believe in nothing!”

It appears, as best as I can understand it, they actually want to represent and be the party of anger. That’s right; above all, they want to be the party that is angry. I guess it’s like the Megadeath album “Peace sells, but who’s buying?” According to CBS, “Fifty-three percent of Tea Party supporters describe themselves as ‘angry.’" Wow, what a selling point (obviously sarcastic).

Apparently, the Tea Baggers are primarily mad about government spending. Well, that’s a perfectly logical ideology, but, I’m still trying to figure out what spending they are so opposed to. The only concrete spending item that it seems that Tea Baggers are opposed to is, healthcare spending. According to the same CBS poll “Asked what they are most angry about, the top four answers among Tea Party supporters who identify as angry was the health care reform bill (16 percent).” Aside from the health care bill, they really don’t seem to have one concrete spending item that they would like to cut. They also seemed to be opposed to Entitlement Programs like TANF.

Oddly enough, they seem to support Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and the Defense spending. A few facts about these programs that the Tea Party supports…. According to the ever reliable Wikipedia…federal spending for FY 2010 (that’s Fiscal Year) is $3.55 trillion. Yes, that’s a big number. But, by far the largest mandatory spending expense is social security, with payments topping out at $677.85 billion. The second largest mandatory expense on a single program is Medicaid at $571 billion, followed my Medicare at $453 billion. Now, I’m no math whiz but that’s well over a third of the entire spending of the Federal Government. Now, the highest discretionary spending program is the Department of Defense, at $663.7 billion. To give some comparisons on how much is spent on Defense, Health and Human Services is the next largest Discretionary spending program at $77.7 billion, including in that budget is TANF. TANF is the largest, what tea Baggers would call “welfare”, federal program, that they are opposed to. TANF spent only $17.059 million last year. That’s right, not billion, million! When you add up the four programs the Tea Baggers want to spend money on (Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and Defense) you are well over a half of all spending. As an aside, other big spending programs of the Federal Government are paying interest on debt which accounts for $164 billion.

So, to summarize, you’re angry because we spend too much, yet the only program they seem to want to cut for the next budget is (TANF) at $17 million of the $ 3.55 trillion that the government spends. That’s the whole crux of the tea party!

I get it. You’re angry! I can understand that, I really can. People want to know why the work so hard yet have nothing or little to show for it. They want to think that someone is stealing their money. The easiest to blame, poor people! But believe me; poor people are not stealing your money, well not any significant portion anyway.

As an adult, you need to be able to express ideas, and provide solutions to real problems. Being angry, in itself, is not really a political position. You need to have some beliefs. I don’t like to pay taxes either. However, I still would not agree to cut many programs, but it appears, neither will the Tea Baggers! Yet, it is this idea of cutting spending that the Tea Party is based on. Until I hear what the Baggers want to cut spending on, real things like, “I do not support Social Security and I would not have tax money support Social Security (for example). Social security should be phased out on such and such a date…” Tea Baggers need to shut up, because their position simply makes no sense. Their belief system is based on nothing. Until they say what they want to cut spending on, the party has no point! It appears to me, the whole party is all anger mixed with smoke and mirrors.

Walt and family....

....as Halloween characters

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

It's halloween time....

My family....

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

My New Neighbor

I was walking down the street this past Sunday, observing that my fairly new white shoes were scuffed. I was looking at how deep the scuff marks were. Incidentally, I was on my way food shopping and was walking with my food cart. I was just a few blocks from home when I felt a presence standing next me. It felt too small to be a tree but too large to be an ordinary person. I stopped walking and looked to my left. I was staring right into someone’s chest. Now, I’m approximately 6’feet tall, so for this person to be a least a foot taller and much wider than me says something. As my eyes made my way up his body to his face I stopped cold. I looked at his face and realized who it was … Shaq!

That’s right Shaquille O’Neal, who joined the Celtics this season, was standing on the street corner, literally a foot away. There was no crowd, just me, Shaq and a guy moving boxes out of a nice SUV. I didn’t really know what to say, so, I just stared at him. I was a bit star struck. It was a little uncomfortable, but I’m sure something Shaq is used to people staring at him. He looked down at me and I looked up at him. There was a very long pause. Shaq then commanded me, “Don’t tell anyone where I live or I’ll kill you.” He pointed his long finger at me. Shaq then gave that goofy Shaq smile. I then explained to Shaq that I was Knicks fan who would be rooting for Celtics this year. I inquired if he the Celtics would beat the Lakers, as I was not a fan of the Lakers. Shaq assured me that the Celtics would win, “Oh yeah, you can bet on it” he stated flatly.

I then stood there while Shaq joked with the guy who was moving stuff into his place from the SUV. I didn’t know what to say so I just stared. There really was not much else to say. As I started to walk away I quickly grabbed my phone and snapped a few pictures (see above).

I wish there was more to the story, like Shaq and I played one-on-one a la the Dave Chappelle Prince Story. Or, Shaq invited me in for a beer and I hung with Garnett, Rondo, Allen, and Pierce. Or, Shaq inquired what type of defense I think the Celtics should use against the Heat. But, that was it. Just a Shaq sighting and a few quick words. I called a few friends to relay the story and continued on with my day.

The Hobo Con Queso Friends Series 2.1: WCF and MMG, the meeting

From left to right:  MMG, Melissa (?), Walt "Clyde" Frazier, and soon-to-be-named "Sparkles" in a classic "before-and-after" picture

The following is a brief history of how I met MMG, who is, in name at least, a co-author of this blog.

My family moved to Teaneck in the spring of 1985 from the neighboring Borough of Ridgefield Park.  I was therefore a new student more than halfway through the year of 3rd grade.  Another student, Jesse, also was new to school around the same time.  So naturally, Jesse and I became friendly.  But, I was soon to encounter what my 3rd grade mind perceived as the upper brass of the grade.

This strapping young boy who had a certain je ne sais quoi used to pal around with another boy named Andy B, who was a big academic competitor at that age for me, and sort of a friendly rivalry developed between us.  One day I was out in the hallway for some reason, and Andy B came by with this other kid.  Andy B said, "Walt, this is Matt.  Matt, this is Walt."

I looked at Matt who was glaring at me with contempt in his eyes.

He curtly said, "Why are you wearing a sweatshirt with shorts?"

I looked down at my clothes.  Indeed, I was wearing shorts and a sweatshirt.  "Why, should I not be wearing that?"

"Well, it's just a bit uneven."


With that, Matt turned on his heel and walked away with Andy B.  My father had often donned the sweatshirt / shorts combination for cool fall or spring weather, which I still endorse to this day - your legs are cold, but it doesn't matter if your torso is warm - so it's a versatile look.  I didn't think anything was wrong with it.


However, shortly thereafter, Matt and I started to develop a friendly rivalry as well.  Matt lived a couple of blocks away from the elementary school and we would hang out at his house.  Many ups and downs were to come...


______________________


To be followed by 2.2:  WCF and MMG, the Wonder Years

The Hobo Con Queso Friends Series 1.1: WCF and Daffy, The High School Years

From left to right:

Random Girl, Random Girl, Walt "Clyde" Frazier, Daffy.

A few years and a few pounds ago (for both of us).

The following is Part I in a series of the history of my (WCF) friendships.  A while ago I wrote about needing ideas for things to write about, and doing a brief history of my friendships seemed to be a topic that interested a few of our many readers.

First, I will feature a three-part series about my relationship with Daffy, otherwise known as Glaffney, Traffney, etc...  Today's issue is Chapter 1:  The High School Years.

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The High School Years:

It was the fall of 1993.  I was a junior at Teaneck High School.  I was in Spanish II with a relatively young teacher, Ms. Torres.  She had little control of the behavior of some of the clowns in her class.

Among these clowns was a tall, skinny guy who sat in the back of the room.  Every day, he would wait until Ms. Torres started her class and then demonstratively fold his Bergen Record to the crossword section.  He would also crack up the kid who sat next to him by doing things like quietly, in his now-famous deep voice, say things like "1...2....red...penis...Q..." as the teacher would ask us to count, in unison, "Uno... dos... tres..."

As a restless teenager looking for any distraction in class, this guy intrigued me.  Despite never having done crosswords before, I started to bring in my crossword puzzle from the Bergen Record and do them each day as well.  One day, I sat near him in class and started to ask him things like, "Hey, what did you get for 38 across?"  We quickly became friendly.  He told me his name was Matt.

We started chatting and we found out that we both liked to play pick-up basketball.  I said, "Well, at the Jewish Center in Teaneck, there's a pick-up game of basketball that I plan in on most Tuesdays.  A bunch of guys come down and play.  Do you want to come with me?"  He did, and I brought him down to the gym.  In his first game, he made about 8 three-pointers.  We bonded right away.

Shortly thereafter, Matt informed me that his parents were going to Baltimore to see the new Camden  Yards stadium and were staying over.  His parents had permitted him to bring a friend.  Would I like to join him?  Yes, of course I would.  I went with Matt and his parents to Baltimore.  Being a girl-crazy teenager, I remember one incident from this trip more than any other - we went to the jacuzzi that the hotel had, and there were a couple of girls roughly our age in the pool.   We were too insecure to go talk to them - because what else would we do?

Anyway, we started hanging out often.  At lunchtime we would go to my house, as it was only a block and a half from the school, and shooting baskets.  Matt was on the bowling team, and I would go to some of his games.  We cruised around town together.  Joeislav, co-author of the blog, had been friends with Matt when they were younger, and the three of us soon started to pal around together often.   Matt started to meet my brother, Beer-on-the-Girl, and my other friends, and became one of the group.

Daffy enters my bedroom, one month before graduating THS.

The only wrinkle on our friendship in high school came during our senior year.  We each had a cheap car that we tooled around town in.  My car was in the shop and Daffy offered me a ride to my job at a dry cleaners on Cedar Lane, which Google Maps told me was 0.9 miles and a 16 minute walk.  Not too daunting, except that for some inexplicable reason I loved to wear these penny loafers with no socks my senior year, and 0.9 miles each way was a long walk in those swishy shoes.

I met Daffy in our designated place near the school, at which point I could tell there was a problem.  Daffy said, "Umm... my sister is getting a ride with us, and some of her friends wanted a ride as well."  I looked to see a couple of freshman girls approaching the car.  "No problem, I'll crowd in with them.  We'll be there in 5 minutes.  We can pack in for 5 minutes."  "Umm... well, I don't want them to be uncomfortable," came the response.  Incredulous, I proceeded to exit the car and walk to work.

We didn't talk for several days.  Daffy apologized to me, and we moved on with our friendship.  Being two 17-year-old boys, I understood the things guys each other in the name of chasing girls down.  We got over this issue and moved on.

As high school came to a close, Daffy and I remained extremely tight.  We were two underachievers, and as our senior year (and senioritis) came to a close, we spent more and more time together.  Daffy would sometimes cut whatever class he was supposed to be in to come to my gym class and play Ultimate Frisbee, as my gym teacher was his bowling coach.  Throwing Frisbees, it turns out, was one of his numerous, random talents that would impress me over the years.

The summer after we met, I invited Matt to join my family in Cape Cod to our annual week vacation in North Truro, Mass.  Daffy accepted and we enjoyed a week of teenage fun there as well.  Matt was amazing at doing things like skipping rocks on the ocean, building campfires, etc...  Matt quickly became friendly with my father and stepmother, and this Cape Cod tradition would continue for many summers to come.  Additionally, a positive relationship continued to be built between Daffy and my family.

As high school came to a close, we realized that we were both attending local colleges in the fall and planned on being around often in the summer following high school, and the years to come.  We would be thus be able to continue to play basketball at the park, go to local diners and fast food joints, chase girls, and just generally goof around together even after high school.

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To be continued in 1.2:  Chapter 2, The Late 90s: The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

Sports Are Great! But…

I have a few complaints about sports.

First, sports have become too overanalyzed. I remember growing up that there was a bunch of pre-post game coverage of the big games, like the Superbowl, NBA Championship or World Series. But now, there is pre and post coverage of every meaningless game of every sport. There a fucking million analysts with little to no insight. We need to stop supporting the mindless drivel of excessive sports coverage (Jim Rome)!

By biggest pet peeve is meaningless statistics. There are two types of meaningless stats that bother me. The first pointless statistic is the ones that point out the obvious. For example, you will hear an announcer say “The Giants are 5-0 when Eli Manning throws for 400 yards and the Giants have at least 5 sacks.” Really? No shit? You mean to tell me that when you move the ball up the field well and stop the other team you tend to win? Wow, what a revelation! The other type of statistic is the arbitrary one. Occasionally in some pre-game shit you’ll hear something like “When Kevin Garnett scores with 8 minutes and 5 seconds in the first quarter the Celtics are 9-4.” Great! So how the fuck does this provide an insight or strategy?

Another thing that bothers me is the weekly countdown to game time. I don’t need to hear more about the above useless statistics or watch some fucker in Indianapolis grilling hotdogs and cooking ribs before the game.

The post game analysis has gone to far as well. Sportswriters and broadcasters are always trying to make sense of the game. One team just scored more than the other, usually because they accomplished their objective in the game, and the other team did not. One team shot better, or got more stops, that’s it! We don’t need to hear more analysis, especially, in sports like golf. You either hit the ball in the hole or you didn’t. No need for analysis. Often, after a game some broadcaster will come over to Phil Mickelson or whoever and say “So, tell us about the shot.” He made a put! What more is there to know?! Phil or whoever will respond with some generic, “Well I know I have strong competition on my heels so I tried to focus and sink the put in order to stay ahead.” Really?! You mean you weren’t trying to miss? Great insight (fart noise).

Yet another thing that bothers me is the maximization of TV time. The NBA is the worst in this regard but other sports due this as well. We don’t need a week off between games so we can have coverage of games outside of our conference. The NBA wonders why the rating are down, it’s because they’ve watered down the product.

And speaking of watering down the product, the changes in sports regarding decreasing contact and increasing scoring suck! In the NBA you can’t take charge anymore. Also, in the NBA, if you foul someone above breathing on them it’s a technical foul. And on that topic, this roughing the QB and punter in football sucks as well. A guy is in midair, jumping at the QB attempting to sack him and the QB decides to release it. The defenders really don’t know what to do and often, tries to avoid contact. What is the defender supposed to do; change direction in midair a la the Matrix?

The complaining to the officials and excessive celebrations are too much! In the NBA players whine for 10 minutes (Rasheed Wallace) after ever call. It slows down the game and nobody cares. In football, a guy will make a tackle on a running back that ran the ball for 5 yards. Often, the guy who made the tackle jumps up and down, does something strange like pretend to churn butter, and runs down the field like he won the superbowl. Calm down! It’s the 1st play of the 1st quarter and you didn’t do anything that great.

I love sports! But this shit has gone too far. I know this post makes me sound like part grandpa Walter part Annie Wilkes, but I needed to get this off my chest.

New Jersey Dissected

Typical things said by New Jerseyans:

In South Jersey: "Where did you go to college?"
Me: "Rutgers - New Brunswick."
Them: "Oh, wow, all the way up in North Jersey, huh?"

In North Jersey: "I want to go to go to Six Flags, but it's all the way in South Jersey."

etc...

I am now 34 years old. I lived in North Jersey for the first 18 years of my life, in Central Jersey for the next 10 or 11, and South Jersey for the last 5 or so. People who have not lived in different parts of our great state, specifically in North and South Jersey, could generally use some clarification about the different regions of the state. So, I attempt to do so here. My ideas are open to suggestions and modifications.

I have divided the state into three regions which I will define: North Jersey, Central Jersey, and South Jersey. Then, I have further subdivided each region into 3 sections, for a total of 9 sections of New Jersey. Each has characteristics which I will attempt to describe as I define each region below.


North Jersey

Region 1: Northeast New Jersey

Includes:  Bergen County, most of Passaic County through Paterson and Paterson's western suburbs.

Characteristics:  Closely identifies with New York City and being New York suburbs. Most of area upper-middle class. Most ghetto area is Paterson but that isn't as bad as other ghetto areas of New Jersey. People tend to be suburban dwellers, liberal, and while being somewhat multi-cultural, most of the people with money are white.  People are fairly ambitious and having your kids get into a good college is a necessity.


Region 2: Northwest New Jersey

Includes:  certain portions of Western and Northern Passaic counties, Morris, Sussex, and Warren Counties. Certain portions of Northern Hunterdon County.

Characteristics: Area still pretty rural. Some suburban sprawl has sprouted up in various regions along Route 80 as people who work in New York City want more for their money, but still primarily small townie. Mainly working class, white, and more conservative than Region 1. De facto capital of Region 2: Morristown.  Politically more conservative than Region 1.


Region 3: Urban Northeast New Jersey

Includes: Primarily Hudson, Union, and Essex Counties: cities like Newark, Elizabeth, Jersey City, and working class towns like West New York, Garfield, and Belleville.

Characteristics: Generally ranges from ghetto to working class. Area somewhat urban and faux urban like all the towns along Bergenline Avenue. Racially very mixed.  Politically - liberal.



Central Jersey

Region 4: The Hub of New Jersey

Includes:  Most of Middlesex County and Somerset County, small parts of Northern Mercer County. New Brunswick, and large suburban towns like Edison, Piscataway, North / South / East Brunswick are all included.

Characteristics:  Large suburban towns (Edison is much larger than any town in Bergen County, for example). The Rutgers Campus New Brunswick is almost like the hub of New Jersey, geographically. People here lean more towards New York City over Philadelphia in terms of sports teams.  People also ambitious and into getting into good colleges, etc..., but not as "Type-A" as Bergen County.  A bit more of a mix of liberal and conservative people than Region #1.  A surprising amount of local industry in the Somerset County area creates a middle-class environment.


Region 5: Trenton Area

Includes: Princeton, Trenton, most of Mercer and most of Hunterdon Counties.

Characteristics:  Ranges from nice, less developed areas in Hunterdon County (surprisingly expensive to live there), to the historic area of Princeton, and the developed area of Trenton.  People here don't identify with North Jersey or South Jersey - in that regard, this is truly Central New Jersey.  Mixed between conservative and liberal people.  Surprisingly a large amount of local industry, like Region 4.


Region 6: The Jersey Shore, North

Includes:  Northern Jersey towns near shore like Sayreville, Marlboro, Freehold, shore towns like Asbury Park, Long Branch, etc... down to LBI. Toms River area. Primarily Monmouth and Ocean Counties.  Six Flags (Jackson) also included here.  Belmar, Sleazeside... you get the idea.

Characteristics:  More blue collar than region 4.  Many people are working class and don't go to college. While some towns are not on the shore per se, people identify with the shore area, bars that Bruce Springsteen sings about, etc...


South Jersey

Region 7: Philly Suburbs

Includes: Burlington and Camden Counties, Northern Gloucester County.

Characteristics: Your typical South Jersey people. Loyal, salt-of-the-earth people, mostly working class with some rich exceptions. Love their Philly teams ferociously.  Some newer suburban areas, some old towns near Philadelphia.  Not as type-A as Region 1, despite its proximity to a big city.


Region 8: Rural South Jersey

Includes: Southern Gloucester County, Salem, Cumberland, and Western Atlantic County, small parts of Cape May county.

Characteristics:  One of the poorer regions of the state.  Biggest towns are Hammonton and Vineland.  Lots of working farms, lots of small towns that look like they are in Deliverance.


Region 9: The Jersey Shore, South

Includes: Southern Ocean County, Eastern Atlantic County, most of Cape May County.

Characteristics:  Includes Ocean City, Atlantic City, and Wildwood.  Had to be separated from Region 6 as the shore cultures are distinctive.  Ocean City boardwalk has exclusively Philadelphia gear, for example.  Also included here are shore towns like Hamilton Township, Egg Harbor, etc... Casinos a source of income, but most people are working class and small-townie.

Teaneck Quote Game Part II

1. Give me three examples!
2. Get off my shoes, bitch!
3. What are they doing here?
4. I have no clue.
5. Them seagulls are dirty animals; all they do is sit and shit.
6. Come on Mohammed!
7. Brian?!!
8. Joey did it!
9. Max Steel get out.
10.Yeah, and one who is 5’10 and diesel.

The Worst Knicks Moves of the 2000s

Beer-on-the-Girl sent me a random article he found about the Top Ten worst moves the Knicks made in the 2000s, and while this is one random gie's opinion on the internet, nevertheless it's interesting to take this nightmarish walk down Memory Lane.

Recall that the Knicks were still good in 1999. In a strike-shortened season, the Knicks crept into the playoffs with the 8 seed, upset the Miami Heat on Allan Houston's bounce-of-the-rim-and-in running shot with the buzzer going off, and making it to the Finals with the Spurs and a young Tim Duncan trouncing them. Then, the 2000s started.

(By the way, for two gies (myself and BotG) that supposedly left the Knicks in our emotional rearview mirrors, we do spend a lot of time pontificating about them.)

Without further ado, the text from the article is below. I'm not sure I agree with the order, but nevertheless... by the way, in reference to #3, I love the joke that Isiah and co. drafted Balkman because they thought they were drafting Rolando Blackman.


10. Trading Trevor Ariza for Steve Francis

It's unfair to lay all the blame on Thomas on this one because it was Larry Brown who really pushed hard for this trade. New York had hoped that Francis was still one of the elite players in the NBA but when he came over to the Knicks, he was a shell of his former self. Francis averaged 11.3 points in his first full season with the team and was just another bad player with a bad contract on an awful Knicks team.

If that was not bad enough, Trevor Ariza has turned himself into a very good player. It did not work out in Orlando for Ariza but his career would finally get the jolt it needed when he was traded to the Los Angeles Lakers. Ariza's 2008-09 season, he played and started in a career high of 80 games and started in 20 post season games. He would be a huge reason why the Lakers would go on to win the championship last year as Ariza averaged 11.3 points and 4.2 rebounds and shot 50% from three-point range in the playoffs.

Ariza is now with Houston rockets while Francis is no longer in the league.

9. Drafting Jordan Hill

Hill only lasted half of his rookie season with the Knicks. He would then be dealt to the Houston Rockets as part of the Tracy McGrady deal. It was quite possibly one of the worst drat picks ever and it had nothing to do with Thomas and Layden.

With the huge need of a point guard, New York elected to draft Hill over Brandon Jennings. While Hill was keeping the bench warm, Jennings had himself a fine rookie season as he led the Bucks to a playoff berth and became the youngest player to ever score 55 points, collecting the second-highest total for a player under 21.

8. Trading Nene Hilario, Marcus Camby, and Mark Jackson to the Denver Nuggets for Antonio McDyess, Frank Williams, and Maciej Lampe

An arguement can be made that this one of the worst deals in NBA history but that might be too much. Camby and Nene made up a great frontcourt for the Nuggets that made them from a joke to contenders every year in the West.

McDyess would not play one game the following mseason as he fractured his kneecap during an exhibition game and would instantly turn this deal into a dud.

7. Trading Channing Frye and Steve Francis for Zach Randolph

It's not what they gave up but it's about what they got. Randolph is incredibly talented and a dominant scorer and rebounder, but his off-the-court issues and personality kept him from reaching superstardom with the Knicks.

The only positive in acquiring Randolph was that the Knicks were able to get rid of Steve Francis in that trade. Although it was also the deal that sent Channing Frye to Portland.

Randolph just never mixed well in New York and would only be around for a year and a month. When I come to think of it, Randolph doesn't mix well anywhere.

6. Acquiring Shandon Anderson and Howard Eisley

Scott Layden grew up thinking Shandon Anderson and Howard Eisley were, like, heroes. Maybe they were, once. They played for his dad in Utah and helped the Jazz to go to two straight NBA finals. But that was when they had the Hall of Fame duo of John Stockton and Karl Malone.

Layden would trade Glen Rice and get these two in the deal. It looked as if Layden was trying to build a team with those two but all they did was take up salary cap space. They got paid a combined 11 million per season and would get their contract extended to five year contracts?!?

When you mention these two names, Knicks fan just cringe because they really represent how awful the roster was during that time.

5. Drafting Michael Sweetney

Another bust of a first round pick for Knickerbockers. He was never in shape to play and never lived up to his lottery pick status. Did I mention that he was just plain horrible and taken ahead of David West and Josh Howard.

This makes the Knicks look particularly bad right here and it just gets worse.

4. Trading for Stephon Marbury

Marbury was Isiah Thomas’s first major acquisition as team president. Bringing the Coney Island product home had earned him instant credibility with Knicks fans, and Thomas stuck with Marbury over the ensuing years of disappointment. His courthouse performance and deteriorating play were only part of the problem.

Marbury constantly feuded with anyone that was in charge of the team. During the 2005-06 season Marbury feuded with head coach Larry Brown. Towards the end of that season, the Knicks' poor performance combined with Marbury's public spats with his coach led to a severe downfall in Marbury's popularity.

There was a big incident that involved Marbury and Isiah Thomas. Marbury would suddenly leave the team after learning that Thomas planned to remove him from the starting lineup. There were reports that Marbury and Thomas actually came to blows on the team plane, and that Marbury threatened to blackmail Thomas for taking him out of the starting lineup. Following the incident and Marbury's return to the team in after the one missed game, Knick fans consistently chanted "fire Isiah" at home games and constantly booed virtually all of the Knicks, especially Marbury.

Marbury may end being one of the most disliked and hated athletes in New York sports history. It was a great move when they got him but not too shocking that it turned out the way it did.

3. Drafting Ronaldo Balkman and Mardy Collins in the 2006 draft

You knew Renaldo Balkman was in trouble when he was booed the second David Stern announced his name. The move is still being booed.

Balkman was taken one spot ahead of Rajon Rondo, who would have been a great upgrade at point guard over Marbury.

Mardy Collins also wasn't very good, and he was taken 13 spots over Daniel Gibson. To think the Knicks could have had a nice young duo with Gibson and Rondo makes Knicks fans even more upset. Rondo has become one of the best all around point guards in the game and Gibson continues to hit big three pointers for the Cavs.

2. Trading lottery picks for Eddy Curry

It's debatable but this move can be looked at as the one that has ruined the Knicks franchise.

If you try to convince any Knicks fan Eddy Curry was good because in 2006-07 he averaged 19.5 ppg i, they'll say that it not enough. Also, when you're 6'11'' at center, you should be able to average more than 6 rebounds a game.

Forget the fact that he was unproductive and frequently had weight problems.

To get him, the Knicks gave up Tim Thomas and two first-round picks in 2006 and 2007. Two first round picks??????

The picks became the second-and ninth-overall picks, respectively.

Basically, the Knicks could have had the duo of LaMarcus Aldridge and Joakim Noah, rather than Renaldo Balkman and Wilson Chandler.

To top it all off, the Knicks have paid him 35 million dollars and are still paying him to be injured. Mike D'Antoni can't wait until the day this guy is off the team. He has no heart or desire to become a force in this league and the fans will be delighted when he is finally gone. A buy out of his contract should not be far behind.

1. Knicks trade Patrick Ewing to Seattle

The trade made the Knicks an NBA powerhouse to the laughing stock of the league.Patrick Ewing had one year left on his contract and the feeling was that the team would try one more run at the title with him and then let his contract come off the books. Instead, the team was scared that Ewing would become very unhappy star in his final year and didn't want to deal with all that drama.

So instead of gutting it out for one more year, the team panicked and made the move that is still hurting the team to this day. The trade was the Knicks sent Ewing to Seattle and Chris Dudley to Phoenix, and received Glen Rice, Luc Longley, Travis Knight, Vladimir Stepania, Lazaro Borrell, Vernon Maxwell, two first-round draft picks (from the Los Angeles Lakers and Seattle) and two second-round draft picks from Seattle.

In their first season without Ewing, New York was very competitive as they compiled a record of 48-34 and were the number 4 seed for the playoffs. But their trip to the playoffs was short lived as they were eliminated by Vince Carter and the Toronto Raptors in five games.

New York would never finish above .500 since that season and made things worse when they traded Glen Rice after one season for Shandon Anderson and Howard Eisley. So it turns out that New York traded their Hall of Fame center for two backups. Not a shock to anyone, the deal did not work out and the team has been trying to fix that mistake ever since. Instead of waiting out contracts to run out, the team just kept adding more salary and never gave themselves a chance to improve themselves.

I don't believe there has never been a deal that sunk a franchise so low for so long but that is exactly what happened. If you go on the street and ask 100 Knicks fans what they think was the downfall of the team, I promise you that 90-95 percent would point to this one move.

Eddy Sandman Part II and Leaving New York

My brother Walt once remarked that Eddy Curry looks like Mr. Sandman from the video game Mike Tyson’s punch out (see pictures left<---). While this was a very funny observation, laughter over the tubby center has gone from mildly amusing, to outright anger, for the Knick devoted. I knew that I swore off New York for good reason, and the latest with Eddy goes to reinforce my decision to leave the Knicks behind. Eddy Curry is one useless piece of shit!

A week or two ago I was reading that Eddy had not attended some optional workouts. Now, if you know anything about Eddy, conditioning has been an underlying problem throughout his NBA tenure. Eddy apparently was missing and seen hanging out at the Jersey Shore (Eddy ‘Situation’). If this was not funny enough, Eddy said that he wanted a chance to prove himself and “spoke to coach about this.”

I was speaking with Moon yesterday who reminded me that Eddy, during training camp every year, pulls a muscle because he is so out of shape. Then, true to form, Moon informs me after we spoke he read that Eddy pulled his hamstring muscle and is out 4-6 weeks. A-Mazing!

Now, picture this… Your job is to play basketball, essentially stay in good shape. You are compensated roughly 14 million a year to stay in shape. You have a contract year coming up, and you are under the age of 30. Yet, for some inexplicable reason you won’t work out, eat like a pig, and get injured due to your lack of conditioning.

Eddy has gone from a joke to outright sad. General facts about Eddy… despite earning god knows how many millions from the NBA, is on the brink of bankruptcy. His limo driver accused him of making an uninvited gay pass at him. He was robbed at gun point in his own home. His career average for rebounding is around 5 a game despite being 7 feet tall and weighing 300 pounds. He was missing from workouts and hiding out at the Jersey Shore. And now, injured once again. Eddy, “Where is your pride, your dignity?” I think Eddy might have passed Al Harrington on my least favorite NBA player list.

And to top it off, the Knicks traded 80 million draft picks for this clown. And to even top that, the dickhead Isiah Thomas who made one of the worst deals in league history to bring this clown to New York, was wanted back from New York management! If that’s not enough to make you leave the Knicks, nothing will.

Teaneck Quote Game

These are some all time great Teaneck quotes, from our group of friends obviously. Okay… Try to name who said it. Bonus if you can remember the original time it was said.

1. Keep it down! You’re not going to be the one who has to hear my parents shit in the morning!
2. We is very educated.
3. Blub. Blub. Blub.
4. Treemis what! You didn’t think I had it in me, did you?
5. Max don’t have sex with your ex.
6. Goddamn Jews!
7. Dennis, I’m hungry.
8. Send a dove.
9. Thurrrsssdaaayyyy!
10. Relax, calm down, and don’t break the screen.
11. That’s god punishing you for hooking up with too many bitches.
12. You either apologize to the lady, or we put your freaking head through the wall!
13. I’m sorry for calling you white trash.
14. Look at all the lollipops.
15. It is a-mazing.
16. Who is you?

There are many more, but I’m a little lazy this morning.

The New Ricky Vaughn

The past few seasons I have loved to watch Brandon Jacobs. What made Jacobs great was his huge 260 pound frame, strength, and ability to run through people. I used to love to watch two or three guys trying to bring down Jacobs and Jacobs just carrying these people along like pre-school children. But, something terrible has happened to Jacobs and he now wants to be a finesse runner. His big ass is tiptoeing around trying to dance around defenders and it does not work!

Every week I feel like jumping into the TV and yelling at Jacobs “Stop! You’re not Barry Sanders!” The finesse style of running only works when you have speed and agility, and Brandon, foot speed did not get you to this point.

Not many people have seen Major League 2, but essentially the story is about Ricky Vaughn, a Major League Baseball pitcher, who made his career on a fastball in the first Major League changing himself in Major League 2. In the first Major League Ricky has a hard fastball and throws wild. Ricky had just been released from prison prior to joining the baseball team. Ricky is essentially a thug. Ricky is dubbed the “Wild Thing” because of his image as well as his wild pitching style. Now, in Part Deux, Ricky is dating some model, and she wants Ricky to think about his career. She makes him wear designer suits and insists that he have a nice haircut. She essentially domesticates Ricky. The girlfriend insists that he had a curveball and sinker to his pitching arsenal to add longevity to his career. Ricky gives the pitches stupid names like the “Eliminator.” Anyway, when Ricky throws these pitches people hit home runs left and right. Ricky realizes that he must return to his “Wild Thing” days and lose his new squeaky clean image. He goes back to being tough and throwing the fastball which works. So, it’s time, Brandon follow in suit of Ricky Vaughn, put your shoulder down and knock people over! Pick up 4-5 yards per carry by knocking people on their asses! Become the “Wild Thing” again!

I understand why Jacobs wanted to make a change. It’s got to be hard taking those hits and just lowering your shoulder into contact. But, in the words of my grandfather “That’s what you get paid to do!”

Writer's Block

My (literal) to-do list has had "write a new blog post" on it for a while. I'm not sure what to write next. I have a bunch of ideas that I've been kicking around and wanting to write for sometime, but for some reason have not been able to build up the momentum to actually write about one yet. So, I'm throwing in the towel and I'm listing them below. I need to give myself incentive to write. Does anybody want to hear me expound on any of these topics (and if so, which one), and I will get to work:

- Why Kanye West is the important musical artist to debut since I've graduated high school
- The 10 greatest rock and roll groups of all time, to me, with reasons
- Why Oprah Winfrey could be president of the U.S. if she wanted to (including an anecdote about Michael Imperioli)
- Hockey, in general
- A "friend profile" about a random Teaneck friend - how we met, our history, etc...
- North, Central, and South Jersey - a profile of each - what constitutes each, characteristics of each, ...

Cape Cod

(<--Pic from this year at the Cape. Gold, Me, Daff, and Max from left to right)



I have gone to Cape Cod for one week every year for at least the past 18 years (Or 17 years depending on who in my family you talk to). My family goes up in August and I always spend one week there. A lot of Boston people were surprised when I informed them that the Cape was the family’s vacation destination point being so far from my hometown in Northern, New Jersey. They thought that growing up and living in New Jersey, my family and I would choose a location to vacation that was closer to home. However, I don’t think they understand what makes the Cape so appealing.

For those who have not been to Cape Cod I’ll try to explain it, and in doing so, try to explain the appeal. Cape Cod is an island in the most eastern part of Massachusetts. It is a relatively narrow strip of land that extends from a base around a town called Buzzards Bay at the entrance of the island coming to point in the Northern tip a town called Provincetown.

My family always stayed in Truro, which is the town next to Provincetown. Much of the Cape lies within close proximity to beaches and the cottages that my family stayed in were right on the beach on the bayside of the Cape. If you drive across the highway (route 6) you are then on a beach on the ocean side of the Cape. Truro is a very narrow town, and only a few miles from the bay to the ocean side. I think the location of Truro was picked because the family who owns the cluster of cottages we stay at (Topside Cottages) has a connection to New Jersey and somehow knows my family.

The cottage itself is nothing special. It has two bedrooms and a large attic that contains four beds. There is no TV and it is pretty “basic.” There is no insulation in the walls and it is fairly small. However, the location of the cottage being on the beach, as well as close access to Provincetown, which is a tourist destination for: stores, whale watching, fishing, and other such activities, makes the location of Truro appealing.

The first year that we went to the Cape, when I was about 12, my dad advised me and my brother, who was about 15, that we were taking a family trip and that we could each bring one friend. We would leave real early like 6 am (ok that’s not that early but to a 12 year old in the summertime it’s early) to make the approximate 6 hour journey from North Jersey, across New York, Connecticut, and Rhode Island, to Massachusetts. The departure time was notable because at a young age I could not fathom the importance of driving to beat the traffic, and always thought my dad was a maniac for leaving so early. But after I got my license, I understood why we left so early. The traffic in August from New York to Massachusetts is brutal and leaving early allows you to drive with relatively less traffic.

The first year we went up I brought my best friend, Gold. My brother Walt brought co-blogger, Daffy. So, every year we went up, we could each bring one friend. I had a rotation of friends (Nino, Brandon, Cheese, and later Diesel) after Gold started working at a camp. Daffy was a mainstay. (Footnote: Daffy stayed every year the whole week until he had kids, except the years in high school that he left early because he missed his high school girlfriends. LMAO. What a clown).

That bring me to what we do at the Cape. Well, the activates during the day have been about the same since I was 13 until now (I’m 30). We go to the beach, swim, throw the Frisbee or football or whatever, fish, go to the ocean, and loaf around the cottage.

There would always be various chores like, setting the table, sweeping the cottage, doing the dishes, etc… Every year we would play cards on a daily basis, with the winner picking which chore he would like to do. The person who came in second would get second choice of chores and so on. The loser always wound up doing everyone’s dishes (there is no dishwasher in the cottage). This would often lead to someone, during the end of the card game, saying to the person in last place person, “Looks like you’re gonna have dishpan hands” or some other taunting remark. These remarks always added a little insult to injury when trailing far behind in points in a card game.

The nighttime activates have changed over the years. When we were teenagers we would have bonfires on the beach at night and just hang around the fire. As an aside, Daffy was the only one who actually knew how to make a fire that wouldn’t go out after ten minutes. So, we would sit outside around a fire at night and hang out with other random teenage beachgoers. Teenagers, who were usually there with their parents, would walk up and down the beach at night looking for something to get into. I think a large part of why we wanted to make fires was to attract girls. As we got a little older, alcohol was incorporated, as well as random hook-ups with teenage girls.

But, at the Cape you reach a certain age where it becomes a little weird (and borderline illegal) to hang out with teenagers on the beech especially if alcohol or other such activates are going on. I guess I was around 19-20 when I realized that hanging out in such an atmosphere might be somewhat questionable.

So, as I approached and obtained the legal drinking age (and got a fake ID) the bars in Provincetown became the destination. Provincetown has a main street with many stores, bars, and restaurants. Provincetown attracts a large gay population, as well as many artists. It has funky stores and sex shops. People just walk on the street and there is a mixture of local people (primarily gay and/or artists) and families (tourists). Many nights of drunken debauchery took place during those early, close-to-legal (with fake ID) and legal drinking years. If you click here… (I can’t believe it but I’m blocked at work from the site hence no link. I think there is a link from chuckjerry.com, go to great stories and then click on Daffy and the Transvestite) Chuck did a great re-telling of one such evening which I think is very illustrative of that time and this will give you some kind of idea as to what was going on during those years

Some years after all this craziness, I would get my own cottage, and would still go and hang out with my family at night when I was not at a restaurant or bar.

It’s hard to explain the primary reason why I look forward to the trip so much every year. There is nothing inheritably that great about the trip, but I always have a good time. The amenities are basic and certainly not a location one goes to in order to be pampered. I guess the appeal might be getting to spend time with the family, the nostalgia of the location or perhaps I enjoy the tranquility on the day in Truro and Provincetown at night. Probably the appeal is some combination of everything. In any event, I think it is a trip that I will make for years to come.

"You Can Act Like A Man!"

Those who know me know that when I drink, I primarily drink Jack Daniels on the rocks. I believe this is a manly drink, primarily because I have never heard of a woman who drinks JD on the rocks. I have heard the legends of Janis Joplin and other women who would drink JD straight up, but most people admit, a woman drinking straight whiskey is a statistical anomaly, an outlier. So, all this got me thinking, what constitutes a manly drink as opposed to a girly drink?

I don’t know what distinguishes manly drinks from girly drinks entirely, but some drinks are just outright girly, no matter how you slice it! I think Cosmopolitans come to mind as the epitome of a girly drink. I don’t know all the characteristics of what makes a drink a girly drink and what makes other drinks manly, but I have some ideas. I think part of what makes a drink manly or girly is, how smooth the drink is. If a drink tastes like juice, fruit, or soda and there is no harshness (you can’t taste the alcohol), it’s generally considered girly. On the other hand, if a drink is harsh going down, it is commonly viewed as a manly drink. So, maybe harshness directly correlates to manliness. There must be other characteristics as well but I think there is some subjectivity to the rating of manly drinks.

I believe there are some drinks that are bi. The first examples that come to mind are Sangria and Margaritas, which, can be drunken by a man under the right circumstance (i.e. drinking a frozen margarita on the beach on vacation to me is somewhat exceptable). These drinks are fairly smooth and are not manly by any stretch. However, if a guy was to order a glass of Sangria at a Tapas bar I might not think him too girly. However, in my minds’ hierarchy he is less manly than me while drinking my JD on the rocks. And, if I was to overhear a guy ordering a Mai-Tai or Cosmo at a bar or anywhere (in the world for that matter), under any circumstance, he should literally takes his pants off, hand his pants and payment for the drink to the bartender, in turn, the bartender should hand the man his Cosmo and a skirt to wear for the entire evening. Then, Marlon Brando should appear and shake that man and yell “You can act like a man!” After that, Marlon Brando should smack the man in the face!

For all the devoted Hobo Con Queso readers (all eight of you) I need some assistance in ranking the below list of drinks in determining how girly, on a scale from 1-Being the Most Manly and 10-Being you are a girl if drink this, on the list below.

1. White Russian
2. Rum and Coke
3. Gin and Tonic
4. Jager shots
5. Mai Tai
6. Martini
7. Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
8. Sangria
9. Margarita (Frozen)
10. Mad Dog 20/20
11. Margarita on the rocks
12. Strawberry Daiquiri
13. Vodka and Cranberry
14. Purple Motherfucker shots (or anything else winit made us do shots of.)
15. Boones

Also- Help me with using the same scale to rank these beers.

1. Heineken
2. Corona
3. Sam Adams
4. Guinness
5. Coors
6. Coors Light
7. Pabst Blue Ribbon
8. Bud
9. Bud Light
10. Miller
11. Miller Lite
12. Magic Hat
13. Anchor Steam
14. Killians