Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My New Neighbor


I was walking down the street this past Sunday, observing that my fairly new white shoes were scuffed. I was looking at how deep the scuff marks were. Incidentally, I was on my way food shopping and was walking with my food cart. I was just a few blocks from home when I felt a presence standing next me. It felt too small to be a tree but too large to be an ordinary person. I stopped walking and looked to my left. I was staring right into someone’s chest. Now, I’m approximately 6’feet tall, so for this person to be a least a foot taller and much wider than me says something. As my eyes made my way up his body to his face I stopped cold. I looked at his face and realized who it was … Shaq!

That’s right Shaquille O’Neal, who joined the Celtics this season, was standing on the street corner, literally a foot away. There was no crowd, just me, Shaq and a guy moving boxes out of a nice SUV. I didn’t really know what to say, so, I just stared at him. I was a bit star struck. It was a little uncomfortable, but I’m sure something Shaq is used to people staring at him. He looked down at me and I looked up at him. There was a very long pause. Shaq then commanded me, “Don’t tell anyone where I live or I’ll kill you.” He pointed his long finger at me. Shaq then gave that goofy Shaq smile. I then explained to Shaq that I was Knicks fan who would be rooting for Celtics this year. I inquired if he the Celtics would beat the Lakers, as I was not a fan of the Lakers. Shaq assured me that the Celtics would win, “Oh yeah, you can bet on it” he stated flatly.

I then stood there while Shaq joked with the guy who was moving stuff into his place from the SUV. I didn’t know what to say so I just stared. There really was not much else to say. As I started to walk away I quickly grabbed my phone and snapped a few pictures (see above).

I wish there was more to the story, like Shaq and I played one-on-one a la the Dave Chappelle Prince Story. Or, Shaq invited me in for a beer and I hung with Garnett, Rondo, Allen, and Pierce. Or, Shaq inquired what type of defense I think the Celtics should use against the Heat. But, that was it. Just a Shaq sighting and a few quick words. I called a few friends to relay the story and continued on with my day.

7 comments:

Joe Grossberg said...

"Dopeness!" (as your brother "Walt" is fond of saying)

Yo he's new to town too -- maybe you guys could become friends. Ho yes.

Matt Dabney said...

white shoes!?!? Don't you know it's after Labor Day?

You should have asked him to join your weekly home poker games!

Matt Dabney said...

You should have asked him if he's stayed in touch with Dennis Scott or Donald Royal.

Joe Grossberg said...

You should have asked if he feels guilty for ruining Greg Ostertag's career with one bitch-slap.

Evan said...

Daff, I did think about the whole Shaq rap song, but I really couldn't break it out without some sort of segue.

Joe, HYHYHY. HOLD MY LEGS!

Anonymous said...

Skiles setting up O'Neal....aaaand the foul!!!!

ChuckJerry said...

This totally beats the Biggie Sessoms story.

What are the odds that at some point this year you get really drunk and go ring on his bell?