I have a few complaints about sports.
First, sports have become too overanalyzed. I remember growing up that there was a bunch of pre-post game coverage of the big games, like the Superbowl, NBA Championship or World Series. But now, there is pre and post coverage of every meaningless game of every sport. There a fucking million analysts with little to no insight. We need to stop supporting the mindless drivel of excessive sports coverage (Jim Rome)!
By biggest pet peeve is meaningless statistics. There are two types of meaningless stats that bother me. The first pointless statistic is the ones that point out the obvious. For example, you will hear an announcer say “The Giants are 5-0 when Eli Manning throws for 400 yards and the Giants have at least 5 sacks.” Really? No shit? You mean to tell me that when you move the ball up the field well and stop the other team you tend to win? Wow, what a revelation! The other type of statistic is the arbitrary one. Occasionally in some pre-game shit you’ll hear something like “When Kevin Garnett scores with 8 minutes and 5 seconds in the first quarter the Celtics are 9-4.” Great! So how the fuck does this provide an insight or strategy?
Another thing that bothers me is the weekly countdown to game time. I don’t need to hear more about the above useless statistics or watch some fucker in Indianapolis grilling hotdogs and cooking ribs before the game.
The post game analysis has gone to far as well. Sportswriters and broadcasters are always trying to make sense of the game. One team just scored more than the other, usually because they accomplished their objective in the game, and the other team did not. One team shot better, or got more stops, that’s it! We don’t need to hear more analysis, especially, in sports like golf. You either hit the ball in the hole or you didn’t. No need for analysis. Often, after a game some broadcaster will come over to Phil Mickelson or whoever and say “So, tell us about the shot.” He made a put! What more is there to know?! Phil or whoever will respond with some generic, “Well I know I have strong competition on my heels so I tried to focus and sink the put in order to stay ahead.” Really?! You mean you weren’t trying to miss? Great insight (fart noise).
Yet another thing that bothers me is the maximization of TV time. The NBA is the worst in this regard but other sports due this as well. We don’t need a week off between games so we can have coverage of games outside of our conference. The NBA wonders why the rating are down, it’s because they’ve watered down the product.
And speaking of watering down the product, the changes in sports regarding decreasing contact and increasing scoring suck! In the NBA you can’t take charge anymore. Also, in the NBA, if you foul someone above breathing on them it’s a technical foul. And on that topic, this roughing the QB and punter in football sucks as well. A guy is in midair, jumping at the QB attempting to sack him and the QB decides to release it. The defenders really don’t know what to do and often, tries to avoid contact. What is the defender supposed to do; change direction in midair a la the Matrix?
The complaining to the officials and excessive celebrations are too much! In the NBA players whine for 10 minutes (Rasheed Wallace) after ever call. It slows down the game and nobody cares. In football, a guy will make a tackle on a running back that ran the ball for 5 yards. Often, the guy who made the tackle jumps up and down, does something strange like pretend to churn butter, and runs down the field like he won the superbowl. Calm down! It’s the 1st play of the 1st quarter and you didn’t do anything that great.
I love sports! But this shit has gone too far. I know this post makes me sound like part grandpa Walter part Annie Wilkes, but I needed to get this off my chest.
First, sports have become too overanalyzed. I remember growing up that there was a bunch of pre-post game coverage of the big games, like the Superbowl, NBA Championship or World Series. But now, there is pre and post coverage of every meaningless game of every sport. There a fucking million analysts with little to no insight. We need to stop supporting the mindless drivel of excessive sports coverage (Jim Rome)!
By biggest pet peeve is meaningless statistics. There are two types of meaningless stats that bother me. The first pointless statistic is the ones that point out the obvious. For example, you will hear an announcer say “The Giants are 5-0 when Eli Manning throws for 400 yards and the Giants have at least 5 sacks.” Really? No shit? You mean to tell me that when you move the ball up the field well and stop the other team you tend to win? Wow, what a revelation! The other type of statistic is the arbitrary one. Occasionally in some pre-game shit you’ll hear something like “When Kevin Garnett scores with 8 minutes and 5 seconds in the first quarter the Celtics are 9-4.” Great! So how the fuck does this provide an insight or strategy?
Another thing that bothers me is the weekly countdown to game time. I don’t need to hear more about the above useless statistics or watch some fucker in Indianapolis grilling hotdogs and cooking ribs before the game.
The post game analysis has gone to far as well. Sportswriters and broadcasters are always trying to make sense of the game. One team just scored more than the other, usually because they accomplished their objective in the game, and the other team did not. One team shot better, or got more stops, that’s it! We don’t need to hear more analysis, especially, in sports like golf. You either hit the ball in the hole or you didn’t. No need for analysis. Often, after a game some broadcaster will come over to Phil Mickelson or whoever and say “So, tell us about the shot.” He made a put! What more is there to know?! Phil or whoever will respond with some generic, “Well I know I have strong competition on my heels so I tried to focus and sink the put in order to stay ahead.” Really?! You mean you weren’t trying to miss? Great insight (fart noise).
Yet another thing that bothers me is the maximization of TV time. The NBA is the worst in this regard but other sports due this as well. We don’t need a week off between games so we can have coverage of games outside of our conference. The NBA wonders why the rating are down, it’s because they’ve watered down the product.
And speaking of watering down the product, the changes in sports regarding decreasing contact and increasing scoring suck! In the NBA you can’t take charge anymore. Also, in the NBA, if you foul someone above breathing on them it’s a technical foul. And on that topic, this roughing the QB and punter in football sucks as well. A guy is in midair, jumping at the QB attempting to sack him and the QB decides to release it. The defenders really don’t know what to do and often, tries to avoid contact. What is the defender supposed to do; change direction in midair a la the Matrix?
The complaining to the officials and excessive celebrations are too much! In the NBA players whine for 10 minutes (Rasheed Wallace) after ever call. It slows down the game and nobody cares. In football, a guy will make a tackle on a running back that ran the ball for 5 yards. Often, the guy who made the tackle jumps up and down, does something strange like pretend to churn butter, and runs down the field like he won the superbowl. Calm down! It’s the 1st play of the 1st quarter and you didn’t do anything that great.
I love sports! But this shit has gone too far. I know this post makes me sound like part grandpa Walter part Annie Wilkes, but I needed to get this off my chest.
2 comments:
I find Jim Rome incredibly annoying
Great post.
I don't know what to say, except I agree. I suppose people do watch it, though, or else it wouldn't be on.
There's just too many choices, America. (Trying to remember which comedian said this. George Carlin, maybe?)
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