Friday, March 28, 2008

Skechers

Some time ago, Chuckjerry went public with his addiction to Classic Adidas. I am now ready to go public with my affinity for Skechers.

When I decided to post this, I realized I knew nothing about the company. Apparently they're an independent company which is cool.

I don't have cute pictures of my Skechers collection - (a) because I'm not gay and (b) I don't have a collection per se, but... Skechers are a-mazing. (Just kidding, Chuck, you're not gay - just a Duke fan - oh wait...)



Skechers are great shoes. I'm a guy that doesn't like to spend a lot of time worrying about my outfits for work or casual wear - specifically, if clothes are too fancy, too casual, if they match, etc... Skechers shoes solve all these problems. They're formal enough for shirt-and-tie jobs like mine, yet casual enough to wear with jeans and a sweater to go out to eat. They're comfortable and durable. And they match with almost everything. The Skechers I buy are usually some mix of browns, blacks and greens, and those are versatile. I also wear a 13 or 14, depending on the brand, and Skechers come in my size. They're fashionable enough yet not too "young" for those of us over 30.

I highly recommend you buy Skechers if you haven't already. Many stores carry them but there is also an outlet in Atlantic City - for those of us in South Jersey.



I like Skechers.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Cedar Lane of Old (part I - the side with the movie theater)

To all the Teaneck people:

MMG called me a couple of days ago, asking where Pioneer Pizza used to be. I told him, to the best of my recollection, that Pioneer Pizza was a few doors down to the right from the movie theater, if you are facing the theater. I wasn't sure myself.

So here's the question: to the best of your recollection, what did Cedar Lane look like in the mid 90s, when most of us were graduating from high school - and specifically, for this post, just the side of Cedar Lane containing the movie theater. (We'll do part II later.) What stores are still there? The interesting part, as I'm finding out trying to formulate my response, is that I don't remember most of the stores. I'm currently not sure what stores are still there. Here's what I remember from about 13 years ago:

Going down from Windsor, there was a gas station. After that, between there and Garrison, there was a liquor store and a pet food store in that first stretch. There was Manor Shoes and Miller Pharmacy. There was Cedar Lane Flowers and Jet Cleaners (where I worked my senior year of high school).

Between Garrison and the next cross street, aside from the theater, Pioneer Pizza was gone by the time we were in h.s., I think. There was also a store called "Flicks N Fones" which rented movies and sold phones, that was gone by the 90s also. Was there a jewelry store...? I'm remembering nothing of this stretch of stores from back in the day.

After that next cross street, there's a small parking lot. The next stretch contained a medical supplies store (J & J), a Blockbuster, and some other random stuff. After that there is a KFC and a supermarket? The gay bar, Vibrations, was gone by the time we were in h.s. also, I think. Mexicali Blues might have been there then but I don't think is there now.

The lower stretch before the Grille was empty but now contains some stuff (on the near corner of River Rd. and Cedar Lane.)

Man, I have a memory like a sieve. Somebody help me out!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Class System and Muncipial Court

Aside of the obvious disadvatanges of being of a low socio-economic class in this country, we know that there are also more subtle, indirect disadvantages. Several months ago, this was illustrated this to me through a real-world example in traffic court.

I have not been known to be the best driver in the world. When I was 17 (it was a very good year), I was infamously noted as saying "Well, the speed limit is really just a guide. You don't HAVE to follow it" and probably believing it at the time. Over the years I've had a series of fender-benders, mishaps, traffic violations, 15-day license suspensions, etc... but always managed to stay on the good side of any serious consequences. Just some money lost, refiltered back through various local judicial systems of our great state, and a couple in other states.

But, Walt, you are a generally law-abiding person, right?. Why have you had so many traffic accidents? I'm becoming more and more convinced that I'm ADHD, and that is responsible for my inordinate number of traffic incidents. As recently as last night, when Walt Clyde took his dad (George Carlin) to the Sixers - Spurs game, I drove to Walt Clyde Senior's nervousness, where we almost ran out of gas on the way back, and W.C. Sr had to steer for a minute while I was taking something out of my pocket on the highway back from Philadelphia.


By the way, our seats at the game kicked ass. Here's a pic I took from my seat. It was a treat to see Duncan play, who I've always admired, but Sammy Dalembert did a great job defensively on him. Andre Miller went for 32 points in a great game for him, and the Spurs got outplayed by the Sixers.








But I digress. So I've been to traffic court several times in my life, in various municipalities. Several months ago, I got a ticket coming from Teaneck to my home in South Jersey, at about 7:30 on a Sunday morning on the Turnpike (78 mph, nobody else around - plus driving in the left lane without the intent of passing is apparently illegal - and I so got a ticket for "Disregarding a Turnpike Sign" - apparently officers can give these generic 2-pt violation tickets) and went to traffic court. I won't say the name of the town I got pulled over in, but I'll just say that it was near exit 5 and sounds something like "Shmurlington City".

Most of us probably have heard that if you get issued a ticket that carries motor vehicle points, it is worthwhile to go to traffic court to try to plea down to a violation that carries no points. The whole thing is basically a ploy to get money from you. The state has made it legal to plea down to a no-point ticket called "unsafe driving" which you can do twice in a 5-year span and get out of 2 or even 4 points, but you must pay a surcharge to the state of a couple hundred bucks. So, it's like: you can plea guilty, pay less in traffic court, but pay the insurance companies a couple of hundred dollars in surchages; or, pay more in traffic court and not have your insurance go up. It's not hard to see why the state wants you to plea down to this no-point thing. However, having to pay money at all does serve the deterrent effect, as I have not broken any traffic laws since.

But I digress again. So I went to traffic court, having researched the ticket I got, having called my insurance company and finding out the consequences, and therefore having a limit set on the amount of money I was willing to accept in ticket / fine money, so that I was equipped to deal with the prosecutor when we had our pre-conference prior to court starting.

There were approximately 100 people in municipal court that day. Of those, the majority of the people there were minorities (black and Hispanic), and most appeared to be of a lower socio-economic class. Shmurlington City is not the most affluent of areas. There were a handful of middle-class white guys there, most of them in for similar offenses to mine.

During the plea period, and when called up in front of the court, the white guys all did something similar to me - pled down out of points, took a surcharge, and paid their tickets and left. However, the majority of the non-white people there, regardless of offense - traffic or otherwise - did not strike any kind of deals. They just pled either guilty or not guilty to whatever they were charged with. In most cases, they were pleading guilty to traffic offenses that they did not even bother to discuss or plead down to. I'd overheard them talking to the prosecutors, and the weary prosecutors did not seem to fully explain or talk to some of the more ghetto people there. I believed this was because, overall, they generally were more defensive, argumentative, and not willing to discuss things as much as John Q. White Guys. Some of the Hispanic guys did not seem to really understand the procedure. Now, was any of this blatantly discriminatory or classist? Clearly not. But did the result of our court dealings turn out differently? Probably. While not denying anybody of rights, the judge, police, and prosecutors certainly weren't going out of their way to illustrate to people what all of their options were - kind of like the general difference between lying and not telling the truth.

And speaking of Hispanic guys not understanding stuff... every time the judge enters or leaves the courtroom, everybody follows the archaic procedure of "All rise as the judge enters/leaves!" and stand until he says, "You may be seated." The back row of the court contained a Hispanic guy who I'll call Javier. Javier probably doesn't know how to say "Si" in English. He was slow on the uptake of standing and seating at the appropriate times, and he was the only one. This old, bald, testosterone-filled cop made it a point to yell at the guy in front of the entire room, making a note of his name, saying that for his impending dealings with the court, this would be remembered. He demonstratively and determinedly broadcast Clancy Wiggum-like copisms such as, "This guy don't think he's got to get up with everybody else? That's ok, we'll get him." I left after my case and don't know what happened to Javier. All I know is that it seemed not only obvious that Javier was not being intentionally disrespectful, but also that he could not have been the only guy who didn't get up or sit in a timely manner - didn't this cop understand that? As if Javier was going to risk being punished just so he can stick a needle in the court by not standing and sitting at the right time. Was he just doing this "for show" to, for whatever reason, scare the rest of the court lest they had visions of being disrespectful to the judge later? So I don't know if anything came of it - but it was very insensitive. During the break, the cop could have handled it differently. And if Javier's treatment was any harsher from this incident, I don't see how it could be described as anything other than unfair and discriminatory.

And this is one small picture of what I believe happens to lower class people that make them feel like the system is against them. Less informed than middle class people, they don't seem to catch the breaks that we do.

(And I've been driving more safely for the past few months. I will keep it up... I will keep it up... I will keep it up...)

Monday, March 10, 2008

Classic Posts: Kryptomice

a.k.a. "mailing it in..."

Seriously, though, when I had my old blog and decided to dismantle it to go anonymous and start over, I saved (via cut and paste into Word) the posts that either (a) were good or (b) took a lot of time or (c) felt like saving or whatever. This weekend the topic of mice / rats came up, and it reminded me of this story which happened to us that I posted about in April 2005.

Kryptomice:

So, it's amazing what the presence of some creatures who probably weigh 30 grams each can do to your world. Yes, they are cute in cartoons, but 6 little mice which are each not much bigger than a silver dollar each can turn your world upside down temporarily.

I'll keep the story short since things have started to return back to normal.

Last Monday (April 11th), my wife and I re-arranged our furniture and noticed some interesting little objects behind our couch. Turns out there were little mouse turds back there. We move our entertainment center, and there are mouse turds behind there.

(About three days earlier, Lisa saw a mouse dart under our stove but we both dismissed it as just a mouse that lived in the walls and got lost since we never noticed any holes, eaten food, or turds in our kitchen ever.)

We have our pet birds in our office which is adjoining to our living room. We move the bookcases in the office and find the motherload. There are mouse turds and hulled out sunflower seeds (what the birds eat) in a pile behind there. Panic and anxiety are setting in (since we haven't ever dealt with mice before). All of a sudden, a mouse jumps out from somewhere in our office and quickly scurries into our furnace closet...

(From here on, take note that the colloquialism "like a bitch" is a non-sexist, non-offensive colloquialism... kind of like how homosexuals shouldn't be offended when I say that George Bush is gay.)

Flashback: When I was 18, I lived at my mother's house and one of our pet cats brought in a (what we thought was dead) mouse and it ran around. I literally shrieked like a bitch and jumped on the coach yelling for my mother (I was 6'1", 200 pounds, my mother was 5'3" and much less) to get rid of it. Embarrassed, I never mentioned this little fit much (though my brother was sure to bring up occassionally).

Now, fast forward to the mouse in our office... I shriveled up and yelled in fear and panic again. For the second time in ten years, I shrieked like a bitch and crumbled in terror. Embarrassed again, but unable to stop myself, I was beside myself. We realized upon inspecting the room and the bird cages that the mice were actually going into the bird cages at night and stealing their food. A second mouse ran somewhere as we started to move furniture around and assess the extent of this situation.

However, the past week has slowly helped me conquer my phobia.

Disgusted and worried for our birds' health, we got the birds out of the house. We then started a war against the mice starting Tuesday night. We learned about the different types of mice traps. We determined that the mice are living (and presumably came into our apartment through) our furnace closet, which is in the hallway that leads to the office where the birds are. We cleaned obsessively. We baited all the places we saw mice shit on Tuesday night. We caught, in successive nights, 2, 1, 2, 1, and last night, no trace of mice anywhere. I think we are done with them (gauging from the amount of activity we saw in cleaned places the following night, and how it's dwindled each day this week). Last night, Saturday night, there was no activity anywhere and Friday night the last mouse was caught in the closet, with no sign of mouse activity anywhere else in the apartment.

We will not declare this situation "over" yet, but we are winding down. The birds have been staying elsewhere but will return this week at some point, once we are fairly confident that they will not have any more unwanted visitors.

I learned several things this week:

- mice are tiny but can move very fast
- like "Fear Factor", you can be de-sensitised to issues if you are forced to deal with them
- I can be a wimpy bitch about some things
- if left uncontrolled, mice droppings can cause health problems, especially in your pets. We are getting our birds checked out by the vet, just to be sure (though they seem ok)
- in cartoons, mice are cute and cuddly. In real life, they are rodents just a notch higher in the hierarchy than cockroaches. (in my opinion.)

5 COMMENTS:
Anonymous said...
I will confirm that Walt did, indeed, shriek like a horrified little girl. His shrieks, in fact, rivaled Fay Wray's in King Kong...particularly in pitch and duration. I will also confirm that this was a nightmare, and I hope that I never have to go through anything like this again. Apparently, vacuuming and cleaning every night in the bird room simply wasn't enough. Mice are crafty, nasty little buggers! Finally, I will add that despite Waltinitial shrieking, (and my concern that he would never return to our apartment again)he dealt with the trapping and freeing of the mice with great bravery! He did, indeed, live up to his heroic name. After all, every hero has his kryptonite...or in this case, kryptomice.
~ Walt's Wife

Joe said...
We had mice in my rowhouse in college. Because they breed so quickly, the only really effective way of getting rid of them is to remove all their food supplies and use traps in the meantime.

J said...
It's a shame that Cowboy (our snake) died last week. Otherwise I could have helped you...dispose of the mice.
In Walt's defense, re: shreiking like a bitch....
Even though I have no problem with my reptiles, I can't handle the rodents. Even when they come in cute boxes from the pet store. I've never been able to touch the rats/mice we fed to Cowboy.

Even when Cowboy decided he wasn't hungry and we had to care for a rat for over 3 weeks.

Even in a controlled environment where it is a pet mouse situation....one of those bastards get loose and I'm to be found standing on a chair, shreiking like a bitch.

Thank G-d I have a superhero girlfriend.

Walt said...
Update: no mice the past four days. Maybe we've gotten rid of them. For a little while, it seemed like some 80s movie where we are doing all this crazy stuff to get rid of these tiny mice.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Random Notes 3/7/08

- Apparently Gnarls Barkley is coming out with a new album. Jerry's recent post about a band called Arcade Fire got me thinking about how much I loved Gnarls Barkley's St. Elsewhere album from a couple of years ago, and how much I was hoping they'd do something else. Can't wait to hear it.

- Regarding the NBA: The Lakers are freakin great nowadays. The Pau Gasol trade is the biggest steal since we visited Provincetown and Gold walked out with two Koosh balls. I think they'll win the title this year - either them or the Spurs. Conversely, the Suns giving up Shawn Marion for Shaq was one of the most poorly thought out, counterproductive, nonsensical moves I can imagine. The Suns, if they do make the playoffs, will get bounced out early. I think the Nets made out well in the Jason Kidd trade, and I don't think Dallas will be that much better, if better at all, with Kidd.

- I think that guys grow beards, in general, for one of these reasons: 1) They are insecure about the way their features look; 2) They think they look more masculine and are insecure about that; 3) They think they look more intelligent / sophisticated; 4) They are getting fat in the face and think they look thinner; 5) apathy about shaving... umm... there are probably several more. Anyway, I've grown one. Like, I haven't shaved in weeks. I have a photo I just took on my webcam but realized I can't post, due to the anonymity thing. So, I was wondering why I've grown one then. I'd love to say for me it's strictly #5 from my list, but in reality psychoanalysis would probably reveal that it's mostly #4 for me, with a some #3 and #5 thrown in. It's definitely not #1 or #2 (I'm a good lookin' nigga... income comin' in... my shit it set.) I've endured several Knocked Up-style beard jokes so far. Maybe I shouldn't shave until the Knicks fire Isiah.

- I fractured the fingertip of my right index finger playing basketball three weeks ago. Nothing was displaced / dislocated on my finger, but it's been annoying and I've had to wear this gay splint on the fingertip. It's really bizarre that the bone in the fingertip broke but the rest of the finger is intact.

- And finally, hasn't George Carlin started to resemble Walt Clyde's father, for those of you that know him?