New Jersey Highway Driving

From the New Jersey Driver's Manual:

On a multi-lane roadway, motorists must drive in the lane nearest to the right-hand edge or curb of the roadway when the lane is available for travel, except when overtaking another vehicle or in preparation for a left turn.

(from N.J.S.A. 39:4-88, which elaborates:

"Upon a highway which is divided into 3 lanes, a vehicle shall not be driven in the center lane except when overtaking or passing another vehicle or in preparation for a left turn or unless the center lane is at the time allocated for traffic moving in the direction the vehicle is proceeding and is signposted to give notice of that allocation.")

Now, any of you who have ever driven on the New Jersey Turnpike know that what the law says and what people do in this regard are very, very different. Troopers who are parked on the side of the turnpike, watching for traffic violators, do not stop people strictly for unnecessarily driving in the left lane.

Infact, I would argue that there seems to be an written but widely accepted set of rules for driving on the Turnpike (and the Parkway, 295, 80, etc...) that most motorists seem to abide by. They go something like this:

- The right lane is the "slow lane". If you feel like actually obeying the speed limit (i.e. driving slower than it) you go to the right lane. You also go here when you are getting ready to exit the highway. If you are in the right lane and you want to pass somebody, it is expected that you will go to the middle lane to do so.

- The middle lane is the "cruising lane". People in the middle lane should be going either at the speed limit or slightly above it. You don't feel like going slow to the right. If you are on a 65-mph highway, the accepted speed for the middle line is probably something between 62 and 72 miles per hour. If you are in this speed range, and somebody wants to go faster than you, it is expected that they will go to the left to pass you.

- The left lane is the "fast lane". People in the left lane are in a constant state of passing people in the middle lane, and are taking the risk of getting a speeding ticket. If you are in the left lane you should be doing at least 75 on a 65-mph highway. Also, even if you are doing 75, if somebody comes up behind you and wants to go faster, it is expected that you will go over to the middle lane at the next opportunity to let them by. Then, you are allowed to return to the left lane.


So, let us posit that I am more or less accurate about these unwritten rules. Furthermore, let us agree that these are not the actual driving laws. I do not abide by one of these rules. And consequently, I receive glares, middle fingers, etc... by irate drivers (and almost always, in North Jersey. Don't get me started on the vast difference between the human beings that drive south of Trenton and the stress-inducing lunatics that drive north of New Brunswick. I should have elaborated on this difference more the last time I meditated on this topic.)

Here's the way I usually drive: I am ok with the unwritten rules about the right and middle lanes. When I cruise in the middle lane, I drive at about 65 (or 55 if that's the speed limit) or slightly below that speed. However, when I'm too impatient to cruise in the middle lane (usually when the driver in front of me is not doing 60 (or 55)), I cruise in the left lane. However, I obviously want to minimize my chances of getting a ticket. Therefore, I obey another unwritten rule of driving - which is you should never go more than 10 mph over the speed limit. The thought process behind this, I suppose, is that police won't bother writing you a ticket for speeding by under 10 mph over the limit, as you can plead down in traffic court.

So, anyway, when I cruise the left lane, I do so at about 72 mph (in a 65) or 62 mph (in a 55).

When I do this, before long, somebody is inevitably riding right up my ass. I don't move over for them, nor do I speed up or slow down. Essentially, I pretend that they aren't there. This usually leads to them getting dangerously close to me and high-beaming me. Finally, they give up, swerve around me to the right, match my speed to glare at me, give me the finger, and yell at me. Then, they swerve in front of me, dangerously close, go slow for a couple of seconds (I suppose to show me the size of their dick), then peel away.

Now, Walt, why don't you obey rule #3 about the left lane? Is it passive-aggressive behavior which is a form of road rage? Are you trying to prove a point? No, none of the above. I feel that this is an appropriate way to drive. I do not want to let the behavior of maniacs alter or dictate the way I drive. I understand that when I'm in the left lane, I technically shouldn't be there. However, neither should any of the other drivers. Therefore, their rules are no more valid than mine. We are all breaking the law by being there at all. If you need to go 85 or 90 miles per hour, the onus is on you to swerve through the lanes as you feel necessary, not on me to placate you and implicitly condone your insanity by moving for you.

Ironically, I brought this up at a dinner in North Jersey with my North Jersey family a few months ago, and asked them how they felt. Every single one of them, including my own mother and brother, said that I was being a dick for not moving out of the way in the left-hand lane. I concluded that living in North Jersey makes one a maniacal driver and warps one's otherwise rational perspective on the driving issue. Then again, if I had to fight the crazy traffic up there for the past four years in addition to the previous 11 that I already had done, I'd have lost my fucking mind too.