Ok, I’m giving everybody reading this post inside information. I’ll call the few people who read this blog my inside sources. So you, as my inside sources, can now leak this information to the public. After long consideration and deliberation I’ve come to a decision. It’s been a very difficult time, for me and my family, but I’ve made a decision. I don’t make this decision lightly…I’ve decided to take my talent as a fan to the Boston Celtics!
I know everyone is shocked but I feel this is the right decision for me. A lot of people call my brother Walt a sports sell out, since his move to Philly and decision to become a Philly sports fan. A lot of people have given him shit about selling on the Knicks (Ok, most of the shit comes from me), but I never understood why he sold out, until now. My eyes are open now. As Samuel Jackson said in Pulp Fiction “I’ve had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity.”
I realize now, that I was suffering from Battered Woman Syndrome. The Knicks have abused me for 10 years, but I’ve reached my tipping out. Most people I know including: LJT, Open Bar, Side Bar’s Brother, my brother Walt, and just about the rest of the breathing sports world had abandoned the Knicks at some point in the past 10 years. Like a child waiting for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, I waited patiently. But, Santa never came. I watched for the past 10 years the Knicks made one horrendous move after another. There was a point where I wanted George Bush to become to the GM for the Knicks, because, even he couldn’t make such bad decisions. I sat through: Marbury, Steve Francis, Glenn Rice, Jerome James, and Eddy Curry. I watched the Knicks trade away picks for nothing, and sexually harass interns along the way. I stood by them. I would come home from work put on a game, and have the Knicks kick my in the balls…for 10 years! The Knicks were my “Buttercup Baby.” They would “Build me up, just to let me down.” But, no more! As Chris Rock said… “I’m giving in my glove.”
I have to root for Boston! Not only do I live here, but they have likeable guys in: Rondo, Pierce, Allen, and Garnett. They have a likeable coach in Doc Rivers and a loyal fan base. They also have a great history. Most importantly, they might be the only team who can take on Miami in the east. So, I’m dumping the Knicks, after years of loyalty, and joining the Celtics. The Celtics are my new boyfriend. They work hard, make good decisions, and are reliable, you know, all the things the Knicks are not. I’m leaving my abuser today. But like every battered woman, I’m allowing myself a chance to jump back on the bandwagon if the Knicks pull off a miracle real soon and get someone like Carmelo Anthony. Short of that, I’m out like Tina on Ike Turner.
I think the final nail in the coffin for me was the Knicks signing and trading away David Lee. David, has been my safe place from my abuser. Like an abused child hiding under the bed. He has been the one bright spot the past few years. But like usual, the Knicks kick me in the balls! I don’t blame them for Lebron not picking them. What I do blame them for is that they traded away Lee, their only all star, for some guys named Anothony Randolph and Ronny Turiaf, or as my dad called them “who” and “double who.” Either let him go or get a real player in return like Tony Parker.
So, I depart the Knicks with three words… Let’s Go Celtics!!!!
I know everyone is shocked but I feel this is the right decision for me. A lot of people call my brother Walt a sports sell out, since his move to Philly and decision to become a Philly sports fan. A lot of people have given him shit about selling on the Knicks (Ok, most of the shit comes from me), but I never understood why he sold out, until now. My eyes are open now. As Samuel Jackson said in Pulp Fiction “I’ve had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity.”
I realize now, that I was suffering from Battered Woman Syndrome. The Knicks have abused me for 10 years, but I’ve reached my tipping out. Most people I know including: LJT, Open Bar, Side Bar’s Brother, my brother Walt, and just about the rest of the breathing sports world had abandoned the Knicks at some point in the past 10 years. Like a child waiting for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, I waited patiently. But, Santa never came. I watched for the past 10 years the Knicks made one horrendous move after another. There was a point where I wanted George Bush to become to the GM for the Knicks, because, even he couldn’t make such bad decisions. I sat through: Marbury, Steve Francis, Glenn Rice, Jerome James, and Eddy Curry. I watched the Knicks trade away picks for nothing, and sexually harass interns along the way. I stood by them. I would come home from work put on a game, and have the Knicks kick my in the balls…for 10 years! The Knicks were my “Buttercup Baby.” They would “Build me up, just to let me down.” But, no more! As Chris Rock said… “I’m giving in my glove.”
I have to root for Boston! Not only do I live here, but they have likeable guys in: Rondo, Pierce, Allen, and Garnett. They have a likeable coach in Doc Rivers and a loyal fan base. They also have a great history. Most importantly, they might be the only team who can take on Miami in the east. So, I’m dumping the Knicks, after years of loyalty, and joining the Celtics. The Celtics are my new boyfriend. They work hard, make good decisions, and are reliable, you know, all the things the Knicks are not. I’m leaving my abuser today. But like every battered woman, I’m allowing myself a chance to jump back on the bandwagon if the Knicks pull off a miracle real soon and get someone like Carmelo Anthony. Short of that, I’m out like Tina on Ike Turner.
I think the final nail in the coffin for me was the Knicks signing and trading away David Lee. David, has been my safe place from my abuser. Like an abused child hiding under the bed. He has been the one bright spot the past few years. But like usual, the Knicks kick me in the balls! I don’t blame them for Lebron not picking them. What I do blame them for is that they traded away Lee, their only all star, for some guys named Anothony Randolph and Ronny Turiaf, or as my dad called them “who” and “double who.” Either let him go or get a real player in return like Tony Parker.
So, I depart the Knicks with three words… Let’s Go Celtics!!!!
5 comments:
Plus, now you can be the first person in Boston who liked black people before Garnett and Allen got there!
fuck the knicks. they are the worst.
i think everyone from nyc should be absolved of their knick fanhood and be free to root for whomever they choose.
it's basically the same as if they just picked up and left town. nyc doesn't have a pro basketball team anymore.
I love the idea of city-wide absolution for giving up on the Knicks. Can we get Bloomberg or the Cardinal or someone to just give us like a free pass to go root for another team? I might take the Lakers, because I have always liked Kobe in that way that you like someone a lot cooler than you even though you know they are kind of a dick.
And then, if the Knicks are good again, could we get like a two-week amnesty to come back without fear of reprisal? This seems fair to me.
Either way, none of this justifies Walt rooting for the f*cking Eagles.
You think another team is gonna love you like I did? You'll be back, bitch! You'll all come running back to me...You'll see!
I like the thought Side Bar... but the Lakers? Kobe? Excuse me while I vomit. The Lakers may be the only team I hate more than the Knicks.
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