Getting Off The Highway

Recently I visited Boston to watch our beloved Knicks lose a heartbreaker Game 1 to the Celtics at the TD Garden. It was an awesome trip despite the loss.

Here's the gang getting warmed up for the game:

Moon, Eric, Jay, Walt Clyde, and Beer-on-the-Girl.

But before I digress and complain about the Knicks' lost opportunities, poor coaching, and the like, I wanted to discuss the following issue that arose on the trip.

On our way up, friend-of-the-blog Jay generously offered to drive him and myself from North Jersey to Boston. On our trip, there were a handful of times we had to exit a highway. Each time the exit ramp was filled with a line of cars waiting to leave the highway, Jay would pull the following move: not wanting to wait in this line, he would drive up as far as possible, passing the growing line of cars on his right. Then, at the last possible instant, he would abruptly cut back into the line of cars, "cutting" the line of cars.

Incredulous (and also wanting to bust his balls), I brought it up around the guys in Boston, who all admitted that they do the same thing! Moon even justified it by bringing up the fact that no traffic laws were technically being broken. My stance remained constant: I can't think of many things that are as blatantly rude as this - and maybe I would have done the same as a younger man, but now I can't imagine doing this with such a cavalier attitude and with no guilt.

Is this an egregious act of road rage carried out to the nth degree? Or just something that people do on the rough roads of the Northeast?

D’Antoni’s D’ohs

I don’t hate Mike D’Antoni, he’s just not the guy who will lead you to the promise land. It is clear on championship teams that the coach is the alpha dog, like Phil Jackson or Doc Rivers, and on NY it’s clear that D’Antoni is not. D’Antoni creates a nice offensive system where the ball moves and everyone takes shots, but to win it all it’s going to take someone better. Here is a list of some of what I will call D’Antoni’s D’ohs since arriving in NY:

1. Mishandled the Marbury situation. It was clear that D’Antoni wanted no part of Marbury, and for good reason, and it became clear that management would not buy out his contract on principal (pretty dumb). But, after it became clear that Marbury wasn’t going anywhere, D’Antoni should have found a way to work him in as he was clearly their best player and the team sucked! Instead, Marbury sat on the bench like a cancer, as a constant reminder of Thomas and Dolan’s ineptitude and the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in sports.
2. Got involved in the Melo deal. D’Antoni was very vocal along with Dolan that the Knicks “needed “to get Melo, thus overpaying for him and depleting much of their roster.
3. Could not find a role for Anthony Randolph. It didn’t surprise me that as soon as Randolph got traded he had a 31 and 10 night for the Wolves. Randolph was the perfect guy for the D’Anotni system. Randolph was big, young, and liked to run. How could D’Antoni not find a way to work an 18 year old rookie was tons of talent into the rotation when the Knicks were playing mediocre ball and struggling at times?
4. Of course, doesn’t encourage defense, at all, under any circumstance.
5. I’m going to combine two gripes I have about D’Antoni, and that is he doesn’t make mid-game adjustments, and doesn’t appear to give good direction. This happens all the time but I’ll use the most recent game against the Celtics (Game 2 of the playoffs) as an example. Rondo started the game with a flurry of layups, six of them to be exact within the first six minutes of the game. D’Anotni should have called for time after the third lay up (at the latest) and changed his strategy. Instead, all Knicks fans watched and yelled at the screen for someone to play defense(<-see point 4 above) And, onto point 2, to end game 2, with the Knicks down by 1 with 4.5 seconds to go, out of a timeout, nobody knew who they were guarding or they should foul. This error in judgment has to fall on the coach!

D’Antoni has done some good things, but I think it’s time to move on. Thanks Mike, for all your hard work, now here are your walking papers!

NBA Playoffs Predictions 2011

1st Round East:

(1)Bulls over (8) Pacers- (Sweep)
(2)Heat over (7) Sixers- (Too young vs. too talented. Sweep!)
(6)Knicks over (3) Celtics (Yes I’m biased, but the Celtics are skidding and the Knicks are hot. In six)
(4)Orlando over (5) Atlanta (Howard’s too big. In five)

1st Round West:

(1)Spurs over (8) NO (In five)
(2)Lakers over (7) Memphis (Sweep)
(3)Mavs over (6) Portland (In six)
(4)OKC over (5) Denver (In seven. Too bad, cause I like Denver. Maybe b/c they have the Knicks whole team)

2nd Round East:

(4)Orlando over (1) Bulls (In six. Finally all the hype about the Bulls will be over!)
(2)Heat over (6)Knicks (Sweep. Hate to say it, but it’s true)

2nd Round West:

(4)OKC over (1) spurs (In six.)
(2)Lakers over (3)Mavs (In five.)

Conference Finals

East: Heat over Magic (In five)
West: Lakers over OKC (In five)

Finals: Lakers over Heat (In six. Hate to say it, and I hate both these teams, but Lakers!)

J.F.K = P.I.M.P

John Fitzgerald Kennedy was an all time P.I.M.P! I was reading this old article in Time the other day about the woman JFK was rumored to be with. I don’t think I would be going out too far on a limb to say, assuming the rumors of woman are accurate, that JFK has the greatest all time resume for woman who he had slept with.

First, I do have to admit my bias for actresses of the 1950’s-1960’s. But, my bias aside let’s go over the highlights on his resume. First, Marilyn Monroe! Marilyn, talk about a home run. Allegedly, when JFK was bored, he passed Marilyn off to his brother, which is a very pimp game, plus he ran that game on Marilyn Monroe. Janet Leigh, who is my personal fav ever since watching Psycho at the age of 7. Jayne Mansfield, very good, very good (as Andy would say). Kim Novak, who I recently watched in Vertigo, whoa! Other names thrown out there in the JFK rumors are Angie Dickinson, Tempest Storm, and many others. Just think about that list for a second. Now, think for a moment that if the list is accurate, try to imagine the woman who were not famous, but were probably as physically attractive as the woman on this list who he was with. Rumors have him sleeping with a 1000 woman, plus recent people claim to have pics of him sun bathing with hot naked chicks all around him.

I think it’s also important to consider that Jackie was pretty hot. This is important, in that most presidents’ wives are not attractive. Think back over all the first ladies and I think you would hard pressed to find a woman as attractive as Jackie. I saw this special on the Kennedy’s on the History channel, and it was rumored that when one of his brothers got married, Jack leaned over to him right after his ceremony at the church and said “just cause’ you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t have other woman.” Very sleazy, but goes to validate the resume.

Today’s politicians and stars simply don’t have any list that cool. The most famous comparison is Bill Clinton. Monica Lewinski compared to Marilyn Monroe is laughable. Also, Elliot Spitzer and Ashley Dupre (client number 9), smh! Also, even other celebs who screw up their legacy with questionable woman, like Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee. All of these people stepped down in the quality of woman who they were with when the stepped out of their marriage. But not, JFK!

I know there are Hollywood men with impressive resumes, like Ben Affleck, Leonardo Dicaprio, and Jake Gyllenhaal (who, btw, is amassing quite an impressive resume himself). But, when you look at their lists, it pales in comparison to JFK. Assuming this list is accurate, no one can come close to touching this, all the while running the country! The modern day equivalent would be Barack sleeping with Beyonce, Shakira, Scarlett Johansson, and Jennifer Lopez.

I don’t think we will ever find someone with the resume of JFK again, especially in the world of politics. Supposedly, the media back then, would not only not report John’s affairs, but went as far as to cover them up. If someone from the media got a picture of Barack with his hand on Beyonce’s ass it would be on every media outlet from now until you threw up looking at the image. Let’s step back and think about the fact that not only was JFK the president of the country, but the probably the president of high-class poon as well!