NBA Lockout

The more I think about the NBA lockout, the more I laugh and then almost cry (not literally, but I’ll be pissed if we miss any of this season). I was reading a couple of different sites, and the request from the owners seems to stem out of their bad decisions. Now, the owners want reform! But, they want to reform themselves. It also appears like the owners are outright bullshitting. So, in order for an NBA season, we have to hope the owners save themselves from … themselves.

From what I read a major problem with the current collective bargaining agreements is bad contracts. The Eddy Curry (or Sandman) example is constantly referenced and for good reason. Eddy had made 31 million over the course of the past three seasons and apparently, only played in 10 games. Also in those ten games, he wasn’t effective. The reasons behind Eddy’s failure to produce are due in part to his physical conditioning. Clearly this was a bad contract. The argument is put forth by the owners that contracts like Eddy’s, or Gilbert Arenas, is that they are stuck paying millions for long term deals for players who do not produce. Now, the funny thing about this “complaint” is that it is the owners who create the contracts they are complaining about! Nobody held a gun to James Dolan’s head and told him to give an overweight, unproven center millions. If Dolan overpaid, let him live with the consequences of being a bad owner and manager. On the other hand, Buss is not complaining about having to pay Kobe millions because he got the return on his investment. It’s called a business and there are no guarantees. If you want to help increase the probability that you make a profit, don’t make bad decisions!

Now, to the underlying issue… the owners are saying that only a few teams are profitable. I call bull shit! Granted I haven’t seen the books, but I’m inclined to believe the players that some of owners are hiding some of their revenue and inflating some of the costs. NBA games sell out on a regular basis, even in small markets, not to mention merchandise, and what TV and Cable Stations pay the NBA to broadcast the games. How many billion is collected in revenue from that? Also, I find it hard to believe that teams have been not making a profit for years. If they weren’t making a profit, did they run the teams out of charity? To entertain us? Bull! To steal a line from Uncle Junior from the Soprano’s this is clearly the case of a woman begging for food while holding a Virginia ham under her arm.

The owners need to be willing to budge, because, unfortunately, I like watching basketball, and they are clearly bullshitting. If the players make some concessions with their salaries, I guess the owners should have to learn to be better decision makers if they want to make a profit.

Prayer Answered

Dear God,

Thank you.

Walt Clyde Frazier

A Prayer

Dear God,

If you can hear me... let Dallas beat Miami in the NBA Finals.

Walt Clyde Frazier

NBA Playoffs Predictions 2011

1st Round East:

(1)Bulls over (8) Pacers- (Sweep)
(2)Heat over (7) Sixers- (Too young vs. too talented. Sweep!)
(6)Knicks over (3) Celtics (Yes I’m biased, but the Celtics are skidding and the Knicks are hot. In six)
(4)Orlando over (5) Atlanta (Howard’s too big. In five)

1st Round West:

(1)Spurs over (8) NO (In five)
(2)Lakers over (7) Memphis (Sweep)
(3)Mavs over (6) Portland (In six)
(4)OKC over (5) Denver (In seven. Too bad, cause I like Denver. Maybe b/c they have the Knicks whole team)

2nd Round East:

(4)Orlando over (1) Bulls (In six. Finally all the hype about the Bulls will be over!)
(2)Heat over (6)Knicks (Sweep. Hate to say it, but it’s true)

2nd Round West:

(4)OKC over (1) spurs (In six.)
(2)Lakers over (3)Mavs (In five.)

Conference Finals

East: Heat over Magic (In five)
West: Lakers over OKC (In five)

Finals: Lakers over Heat (In six. Hate to say it, and I hate both these teams, but Lakers!)

The Worst Knicks Moves of the 2000s

Beer-on-the-Girl sent me a random article he found about the Top Ten worst moves the Knicks made in the 2000s, and while this is one random gie's opinion on the internet, nevertheless it's interesting to take this nightmarish walk down Memory Lane.

Recall that the Knicks were still good in 1999. In a strike-shortened season, the Knicks crept into the playoffs with the 8 seed, upset the Miami Heat on Allan Houston's bounce-of-the-rim-and-in running shot with the buzzer going off, and making it to the Finals with the Spurs and a young Tim Duncan trouncing them. Then, the 2000s started.

(By the way, for two gies (myself and BotG) that supposedly left the Knicks in our emotional rearview mirrors, we do spend a lot of time pontificating about them.)

Without further ado, the text from the article is below. I'm not sure I agree with the order, but nevertheless... by the way, in reference to #3, I love the joke that Isiah and co. drafted Balkman because they thought they were drafting Rolando Blackman.


10. Trading Trevor Ariza for Steve Francis

It's unfair to lay all the blame on Thomas on this one because it was Larry Brown who really pushed hard for this trade. New York had hoped that Francis was still one of the elite players in the NBA but when he came over to the Knicks, he was a shell of his former self. Francis averaged 11.3 points in his first full season with the team and was just another bad player with a bad contract on an awful Knicks team.

If that was not bad enough, Trevor Ariza has turned himself into a very good player. It did not work out in Orlando for Ariza but his career would finally get the jolt it needed when he was traded to the Los Angeles Lakers. Ariza's 2008-09 season, he played and started in a career high of 80 games and started in 20 post season games. He would be a huge reason why the Lakers would go on to win the championship last year as Ariza averaged 11.3 points and 4.2 rebounds and shot 50% from three-point range in the playoffs.

Ariza is now with Houston rockets while Francis is no longer in the league.

9. Drafting Jordan Hill

Hill only lasted half of his rookie season with the Knicks. He would then be dealt to the Houston Rockets as part of the Tracy McGrady deal. It was quite possibly one of the worst drat picks ever and it had nothing to do with Thomas and Layden.

With the huge need of a point guard, New York elected to draft Hill over Brandon Jennings. While Hill was keeping the bench warm, Jennings had himself a fine rookie season as he led the Bucks to a playoff berth and became the youngest player to ever score 55 points, collecting the second-highest total for a player under 21.

8. Trading Nene Hilario, Marcus Camby, and Mark Jackson to the Denver Nuggets for Antonio McDyess, Frank Williams, and Maciej Lampe

An arguement can be made that this one of the worst deals in NBA history but that might be too much. Camby and Nene made up a great frontcourt for the Nuggets that made them from a joke to contenders every year in the West.

McDyess would not play one game the following mseason as he fractured his kneecap during an exhibition game and would instantly turn this deal into a dud.

7. Trading Channing Frye and Steve Francis for Zach Randolph

It's not what they gave up but it's about what they got. Randolph is incredibly talented and a dominant scorer and rebounder, but his off-the-court issues and personality kept him from reaching superstardom with the Knicks.

The only positive in acquiring Randolph was that the Knicks were able to get rid of Steve Francis in that trade. Although it was also the deal that sent Channing Frye to Portland.

Randolph just never mixed well in New York and would only be around for a year and a month. When I come to think of it, Randolph doesn't mix well anywhere.

6. Acquiring Shandon Anderson and Howard Eisley

Scott Layden grew up thinking Shandon Anderson and Howard Eisley were, like, heroes. Maybe they were, once. They played for his dad in Utah and helped the Jazz to go to two straight NBA finals. But that was when they had the Hall of Fame duo of John Stockton and Karl Malone.

Layden would trade Glen Rice and get these two in the deal. It looked as if Layden was trying to build a team with those two but all they did was take up salary cap space. They got paid a combined 11 million per season and would get their contract extended to five year contracts?!?

When you mention these two names, Knicks fan just cringe because they really represent how awful the roster was during that time.

5. Drafting Michael Sweetney

Another bust of a first round pick for Knickerbockers. He was never in shape to play and never lived up to his lottery pick status. Did I mention that he was just plain horrible and taken ahead of David West and Josh Howard.

This makes the Knicks look particularly bad right here and it just gets worse.

4. Trading for Stephon Marbury

Marbury was Isiah Thomas’s first major acquisition as team president. Bringing the Coney Island product home had earned him instant credibility with Knicks fans, and Thomas stuck with Marbury over the ensuing years of disappointment. His courthouse performance and deteriorating play were only part of the problem.

Marbury constantly feuded with anyone that was in charge of the team. During the 2005-06 season Marbury feuded with head coach Larry Brown. Towards the end of that season, the Knicks' poor performance combined with Marbury's public spats with his coach led to a severe downfall in Marbury's popularity.

There was a big incident that involved Marbury and Isiah Thomas. Marbury would suddenly leave the team after learning that Thomas planned to remove him from the starting lineup. There were reports that Marbury and Thomas actually came to blows on the team plane, and that Marbury threatened to blackmail Thomas for taking him out of the starting lineup. Following the incident and Marbury's return to the team in after the one missed game, Knick fans consistently chanted "fire Isiah" at home games and constantly booed virtually all of the Knicks, especially Marbury.

Marbury may end being one of the most disliked and hated athletes in New York sports history. It was a great move when they got him but not too shocking that it turned out the way it did.

3. Drafting Ronaldo Balkman and Mardy Collins in the 2006 draft

You knew Renaldo Balkman was in trouble when he was booed the second David Stern announced his name. The move is still being booed.

Balkman was taken one spot ahead of Rajon Rondo, who would have been a great upgrade at point guard over Marbury.

Mardy Collins also wasn't very good, and he was taken 13 spots over Daniel Gibson. To think the Knicks could have had a nice young duo with Gibson and Rondo makes Knicks fans even more upset. Rondo has become one of the best all around point guards in the game and Gibson continues to hit big three pointers for the Cavs.

2. Trading lottery picks for Eddy Curry

It's debatable but this move can be looked at as the one that has ruined the Knicks franchise.

If you try to convince any Knicks fan Eddy Curry was good because in 2006-07 he averaged 19.5 ppg i, they'll say that it not enough. Also, when you're 6'11'' at center, you should be able to average more than 6 rebounds a game.

Forget the fact that he was unproductive and frequently had weight problems.

To get him, the Knicks gave up Tim Thomas and two first-round picks in 2006 and 2007. Two first round picks??????

The picks became the second-and ninth-overall picks, respectively.

Basically, the Knicks could have had the duo of LaMarcus Aldridge and Joakim Noah, rather than Renaldo Balkman and Wilson Chandler.

To top it all off, the Knicks have paid him 35 million dollars and are still paying him to be injured. Mike D'Antoni can't wait until the day this guy is off the team. He has no heart or desire to become a force in this league and the fans will be delighted when he is finally gone. A buy out of his contract should not be far behind.

1. Knicks trade Patrick Ewing to Seattle

The trade made the Knicks an NBA powerhouse to the laughing stock of the league.Patrick Ewing had one year left on his contract and the feeling was that the team would try one more run at the title with him and then let his contract come off the books. Instead, the team was scared that Ewing would become very unhappy star in his final year and didn't want to deal with all that drama.

So instead of gutting it out for one more year, the team panicked and made the move that is still hurting the team to this day. The trade was the Knicks sent Ewing to Seattle and Chris Dudley to Phoenix, and received Glen Rice, Luc Longley, Travis Knight, Vladimir Stepania, Lazaro Borrell, Vernon Maxwell, two first-round draft picks (from the Los Angeles Lakers and Seattle) and two second-round draft picks from Seattle.

In their first season without Ewing, New York was very competitive as they compiled a record of 48-34 and were the number 4 seed for the playoffs. But their trip to the playoffs was short lived as they were eliminated by Vince Carter and the Toronto Raptors in five games.

New York would never finish above .500 since that season and made things worse when they traded Glen Rice after one season for Shandon Anderson and Howard Eisley. So it turns out that New York traded their Hall of Fame center for two backups. Not a shock to anyone, the deal did not work out and the team has been trying to fix that mistake ever since. Instead of waiting out contracts to run out, the team just kept adding more salary and never gave themselves a chance to improve themselves.

I don't believe there has never been a deal that sunk a franchise so low for so long but that is exactly what happened. If you go on the street and ask 100 Knicks fans what they think was the downfall of the team, I promise you that 90-95 percent would point to this one move.

"Quadruple Who"

... or "Why The Knicks Ownership Is More Incompetent Than Mr. Bean"



Could it get worse than this? Oh yeah... much, much worse.


First, they leave the free-agency bonanza with Amare Stoudamire and Raymond Felton. Ok. Not terrible, not great. Felton is a decent point guard, by the way. A glimmer of optimism starts to shine on the Knicks faithful.

Then... oh, sweet God do the Knicks suck.... then...

...they give up David Lee for three guys my father memorably dubbed "Who", "Double-Who", and "Triple-Who". In other words, three irrelevant guys.

Yes, I understand that David Lee was going to cost a lot of money, and they are trying to build for the future. I get it. But, come on, let's put on our common sense hats for a minute. How can you placate a passionate and hungry New York public with these band of jokers? This was the crushing blow that sent many New York faithful, including BotG, into a Knicks-hating frenzy.

... then, in a serious context, an article breaks that they have seriously considered bringing Isiah Thomas back to run the team. Isiah Thomas! Isiah Fucking Thomas! I don't know what to even say about this. What kind of cruel joke are they trying to play on New York?

... And finally, the coup de gras... they sign some Russian big man... does his name really matter? All you need to know about him is this:

- He, of course, got the moniker "Quad Who" from Pop. I'll be calling him that a year from now... if he's even in the NBA.
- He averaged less than 8 points and 7 rebounds IN THE RUSSIAN LEAGUE. (Matt Dabney once averaged double digits in the Russian league. As did I. We were teammates there.) If somebody's coming from Russia to get any minutes of substance or make any serious contribution, he better be putting up LeBron numbers over there.
- Speaking of this, I made an immediate bet with eternal optimist Pop - that Quad Who would average less than 10 minutes per game next season.
- Two words: Frederic Weis.
- Don't believe me? This is a HIGHLIGHT REEL for him. Jay Koeppel looked better in the Maccabi games when he had more of a height advantage than Wilt Chamberlain. In his highlight reel, he shoots an airball and misses layups. Oy vey.



Is he going to help the Knicks leave the valley of suckdom? I say, "Nyet".

(Hat-tip to BotG for finding this clip and for reminding me of how it was reminiscient of Jay Koeppel's Maccabi games highlight reel.)

One Picture and Two Random Videos

Here is a photo of the last actual Hobo With Cheese I ate at Five-Star. I'd love to somehow embed this into the header of our blog. If anybody wants to work on this, let me know. I tried this once and wasn't successful.




Here is my all-time favorite basketball highlights / music video. I posted this once before and wanted to re-post it in light of Moon's Mike Nurse post and in light of our collective lamenting of the fact that guys aren't as passionate in professional sports as they once were.





Finally, I've had Sirius Radio for a few months now and have been able to listen to Howard Stern before. If you have not been able to make the jump and/or not interested in Howard Stern, here's a taste of song parodies of people sweating Robin Quivers' breasts.

(Sexual references / foul language follow - NSFW.)

Random Stuff 5.2.2010

Random thoughts on a random Sunday morning...

1) So much for my big predictions about Denver coming out of the West in the NBA Playoffs. What does this tell me?

- I guess a coach can make a big difference in the NBA, and
- I don't see how anybody can stop L.A. from coming out of the West.

So who am I rooting for now? I hope Cleveland wins. It's hard to dislike LeBron. But, even more than wanting Cleveland to win, there are two teams I am actively rooting against: L.A. and Orlando. I hate the smugness of L.A. (particularly Kobe and Phil Jackson) and I hate the bitchiness of Vince Carter and Dwight Howard.


2) I love my new MacBook. I wish I made the switch years ago.


3) Eminem's song "Kim" (from the Marshall Mathers LP) is downright frightening.

I remember once being under the influence of some chemicals in college (I believe it was the same chemicals that make Mario big) and listening to the Beatles "Revolution 9" from the White Album ("Number nine... number nine...) all the way through and getting slightly freaked out.

What other songs are "scary" or have ever scared you, sober or not? I can't think of any others offhand.


4) When George W. Bush II was our president from 2000 - 2008 and he got on TV, I hated him so much that he caused such a visceral reaction in me that I literally couldn't stay in the room. If I did, I would either mock him or yell things like "FUCK YOU!!!" at the screen, to the point where my wife would say "Would you shut up? I just want to hear what he's saying. I hate him too. Just stop!" but I couldn't control myself because I couldn't look at his stupid fucking face anymore.

I haven't had that kind of reaction since to anything on TV until I tried to watch American Idol again. I watched the first couple of seasons and got tired with the dragged out, formulaic idiocy of it. I tried again this season and just found myself yelling at the screen, particularly when Randy Jackson would be on. I would just yell "YO YO YO YO YO YO YO DOG CHECK THIS OUT YO YO YO YO YO DOG DOG DOG AIGHT AIGHT DOG DOG" in anger until my wife would once again tell me to shut up so she could at least give the show a chance.


5) I wish there was some food I loved, and attacked with such zest and passion, as my cockatiels do with millet spray. It's weird. Millet spray seems so bland and yet they love it more than any other fresh food, cereal, and everything else we've given them.

NBA Playoff Predictions

So here are my not so bold NBA playoff predictions:

1st Round: All the favorites except I see a couple potential upsets. I think the Celtics, Mavs, and Denver are all vulnerable.

2nd Round: East: Cavs over Celts. Atlanta over the Magic (toss up).
West: Mavs over Suns. Lakers over Denver.

Conference winners: East = Cavs.
West = Lakers.

Finals winner: Lakers

Book of Basketball - Me Too!

After reading Moon's recent comments on Bill Simmons' Book of Basketball, I finally started reading it.

I haven't anticipated a book's release as much as I did this one. This book was a perfect storm for me. The NBA is by far and away my favorite sport, truly the only sport I've ever been a "fan" of, where the etymology of the word "fan" is "fanatic" AFAIK. I just "watch" other sports. I don't absorb them like I do pro basketball. Some basketball purists feel that good college basketball is somehow "purer" or "better basketball" or more "real basketball" than the NBA these days, and perhaps they're right. Still, for people like Simmons and me, it's too late. We're hopelessly hooked on the NBA. And, Simmons is the only Internet writer that I read on a regular basis. Everytime ESPN.com features a new Simmons column, I immediately click there and worry about catching up on sports news until I'm done with whatever random topic Bill is pontificating on. He's not much older than me and drops more funny, age-appropriate pop culture references for somebody my age than a VH1 "I Love The ..." show.

Needless to say, I bought it as soon as it was released, and for some inexplicable reason, I hadn't started reading it until this weekend.

Background to this weekend: Around Friday, I started feeling sick. Saturday, I felt legitimately sick. Not sure if it was just a cold, I realized by Sunday that it was more than that. Chills, headaches, etc... I called out of work today (Tuesday) and saw the doctor. I have bronchitis (not a big deal - I've had it before. If you've had it, you know it's worse than a cold and not as bad as a flu. Needless to say, it crippled my fun 3-day weekend. Ah well.)

This is important, because while I was coughing up a lung and living in a half-conscious daze for a couple of days, I started to read this book. Two remarkable things happened:

1) The book lived up to the hype for me. How do I know? I compulsively read it till all hours despite my body wanting more than anything to sleep. I had the "I-couldn't-put-it-down" thing where I literally could not put it down, despite everything else in my head and my heart telling me not to. I was compelled to keep reading, and I was hopeless to fight it.

(Can I judge how great it is based on this fact alone? Probably not. I'd like to think I'm fairly intelligent and intellectually well-rounded, but when it comes to reading, I'm ashamed to admit I'm very academically immature. I'm the Vince Carter of reading academically rich books. The only two other books I remember couldn't-put-it-down reading, until late hours of the night, in the past 5 years or so? The Da Vinci Code and Harry Potter 7. I'm only mildly embarrassed by HP7 - I'm very embarrased by Da Vinci Code. By the way, that Vince Carter reference was weak. What can I say, I'm no Bill Simmons.)

This book is, more than anything I've encountered in my life, right in my wheelhouse. Well, with the possible exception of the "Cookie-Doughn't-You-Want-Some" creation from Cold Stone Creamery - find it and read the description - and yes, yes I do want some, always. The book is even written with coherent themes, topics, and storylines - but with a slight ADD element of tangents and anecdotes sprinkled in appropriately and a million footnotes, which serve the same function as my too-frequent parenthetical comments I always include in my blogs. Just like me! (the ADD part) The book is informative and thorough. It educates everybody from a casual fan to a serious fan about the history of the league and ties it in perfectly to where we are today.

I could go on and on about it. Just read it. Don't want to spoil it.


2) I won't spoil the details of the book or its structure, because everybody should read it fresh, but... There is a page and a half of the book (p. 520 - halfway through p. 521) where he analyzes the movie Teen Wolf.

I haven't laughed out loud while sober that loudly or for as long in... shit, in forever, as I self-effacingly laughed at the fact that I've seen Teen Wolf at least 20 times (and I'm sure Bill has too) and that Bill connects Michael J. Fox's character's personal development to a certain current NBA star that's just funny and kind of deep at the same time.

Read the book.

P.S. Argh... got to do it - slight spoiler. The guy who is compared to Michael J. Fox's character from Teen Wolf is Kobe. Read it. Then, after you chuckle and read about Kobe's place in NBA history, anytime you read anything remotely complementary or neutral about Kobe, read the details of this. I mistakenly did this today and I wish I didn't. I can't objectively look at his smug fucking face anymore. I literally felt nauseous that somehow the world forgets that he did this a few years ago. He should be villified as much as Vick. He personifies the "he thinks he's above the law because he's famous" hubris that so many celebrities seem to have, except he raped a 19-year-old girl and got away with it. I don't think the girl was lying. He did it. Read the page. He did it exactly how the Wikipedia page says so. It just makes too much (common) sense. Kobe basically admitted it after the whole ordeal was over.

At your own peril, and at the risk of feeling nauseous yourself, and at the peril of being able to objectively watch Lakers games again, read the Wikipedia article I linked to. Tell me if the account of it on Wikipedia doesn't resonate as being 100% plausible. Here was part of his statement after:

"I also want to make it clear that I do not question the motives of this young woman. No money has been paid to this woman. She has agreed that this statement will not be used against me in the civil case. Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did. After months of reviewing discovery, listening to her attorney, and even her testimony in person, I now understand how she feels that she did not consent to this encounter."

Umm... what?!? How could you possibly say "she has agreed that this statement will not be used against me in the civil case" and "I want to apologize to her for my behavior that night and for the consequences she has suffered in the past year"? IF SOMEBODY BLATANTLY LIED TO THE POLICE THAT YOU RAPED THEM, why would you make statements like this? Think about the O.J. case and imagine if he said things remotely like this when the trial was over and he was going to inevitably go to civil court. Kobe is fucking lucky he wasn't treated and viewed like Tyson after his rape.

Anyway, sorry, got distracted. Bottom line, if you've ever remotely enjoyed anything in your life about the NBA, and ESPECIALLY if you used to enjoy the NBA and don't anymore, read the book.

Vote - Best Facial Dunk!

These two dunks are my top two (and I think I gotta go with KJ by a nose). Consider:

- Both were made by little guys over big guys. (6'3" over 6'9", 6'1" vs. 7'0")
- Both big guys were known at the time as very good / great defensive players.
- Both were in the playoffs.
- In both cases, even though the big guy was not directly guarding the dunker, he was there in plenty of time to help. (In other words, it wasn't some cheap "I dunked on you, even though you weren't really there" like the time Beer-on-the-Girl got dunked on by Biggie Sessoms at Amman Park.)

Anyway, which one is better? Is there another one better than both of these?











And here's a trio of Vince Carter dunking on people, lest anybody think I'm biased against him.

Vinsanity

Good job, Vince. Keep shrugging, you apathetic hack.



First, to my handful of readers, I apologize for neglecting you for so long. I can't say it won't happen again.

For years now, I've been railing against Vince Carter. I've always pointed out to anybody who will listen that he is a cancer for every team he's been on. When the Nets teamed him up with Jason Kidd, I predicted that it was a sentence of mediocrity until they got rid of him. And now, without him, I predict that the Nets will improve this year (the whole addition by subtraction thing). But I digress.

Now that Vince Carter has been traded to the Magic, I am predicting a decline from relevance for the once-promising young Magic team (and by once, I mean a few months ago before they got Vince Carter).

I'll say things like this often:

"If the Lakers kept their same team and added Vince Carter for free, they would have no chance of repeating."
"I think that he honestly makes every team worse that he's been on."
"Any team that he is on has no chance of contending for a championship."

and state the reasons (no defense, pussy, chemistry killer, subtracts from other players' effectiveness because he holds on to the ball for too long,...) people chuckle and half-heartedly agree or disagree with me. But I don't think I've ever stated it well enough to express how passionately I feel about this joke of a NBA star.

Until now. Bill Simmons has done it for me.

Here is Simmons' take on why Vince is the 4th most intriguing player leading into this NBA season, and I couldn't agree more:

Forget everything you know about him. Forget how he quit on Toronto, forget how Jason Kidd pushed for a trade to Dallas just to get away from him, forget that the most memorable moments of his career were a slam dunk contest and the time he dunked on Fred Weis. Forget that you're disappointed in him, that you don't trust him, that you wouldn't want to go to war with him. Forget that he's played 42 games TOTAL in 11 years, or that he hasn't made an All-NBA team since the first year of Dubya's presidency. Forget that he's the active league leader in "most willing to never drive to the basket again if you knock him down once" and "most times rolling around underneath the rim like he's been shot" categories. Forget all of these things. And ask yourself this question:

Has Vince Carter ever played for a good team?

His two best teams simply in terms of win totals:

2006 Nets (49 wins): Vince, a past-his-prime Jason Kidd, Richard Jefferson, Nenad Krstic, Cliff Robinson, Jacque Vaughn, Scott Padgett.

2001 Raptors (47 wins): Vince, Antonio Davis (Vince's only teammate to average 10-plus points or 10-plus rebounds), Alvin Williams, Corliss Williamson, Mo Peterson, Keon Clark, and a just-about-washed-up Charles Oakley/Mark Jackson combo.

Fact: He's never had a teammate make an All-NBA team.

Fact: He's never played with an elite guy in his prime.

Fact: The best coaches he ever had were Lawrence Frank and an almost-done Lenny Wilkens.

Fact: He's teaming up with a former Coach of the Year (Stan Van Jeremy), the league's best center (Dwight Howard), the league's best 3-point shooting forward (Rashard Lewis), an All-Star point guard (Jameer Nelson) and 4-5 solid role players on a team that desperately needs his ability to create his own shot and shoot threes. He's also going to be protected defensively for the first time in his career.

Put it this way: If Vince Carter is a great basketball player, if he has ANY greatness in him, then it's going to surface this season. Or else it wasn't there in the first place. Either way, we will have an answer. Which makes him pretty damned intriguing.

NBA Preview 2009-2010

Some random predictions for the 2009-2010 season... just spouting off at the mouth... intended as food-for-thought or conversation starters...

- The Knicks will suck. Hard. Their record will be among the 5 worst in the NBA.

- Mike D'Antoni will not be the head coach in 2010.

- The Nets will finish over .500 and have a solid year.

- If Cleveland gets Trevor Ariza and has no injuries to any big players, they will dominate the East and make it to the NBA Finals.

- Orlando will be much worse, now that they have Vince Cancer, I mean Carter. They will struggle and not make it out of the 2nd round of the East.

- If the Spurs get Rasheed Wallace and Ginobili and Duncan are healthy, they will come out of the West. They might come out of the West even without Rasheed.

- Blake Griffin will start a little slow but will eventually be averaging close to 20-10. He might even make the All-Star team. He's the real deal.

- Ricky Rubio will not play a minute in a Timberwolves uniform, this year or any other.

Scott Howard for Finals MVP

Now this is fucking funny.

My New Team

I've lived in South Jersey, in the Philadelphia area, for just over three years now. Growing up in Bergen County, my main sports allegiance was always for the New York Knickerbockers. I would "follow" the Yankees and Giants for stretches of time, but my heart wasn't into them and I wouldn't call myself a "fan" of either team. However, even after I moved down here, I've been purchasing the NBA League Pass package so that I could watch my beloved Knicks stink it up (along with following the guys on my Fantasy NBA team. I'm embarrased to admit that, but it's true.) The main drive, though, was to watch the Knicks games frequently and the Nets games from time to time.

However, as we face the dawn of the 2008-2009 NBA season, I sadly have to announce that I believe - and this remains to be seen - that my time with the NY Knicks is done. They have been too mismanaged for too long, and there aren't many likable characters around. They are a bloated, overhyped franchise which has been heading in the wrong direction for several years now. And so, finally at my wits end, I've realized that I don't really want to order the League Pass this year. It's not a money question - it's a "I really don't want to watch the Knicks anymore, so why do I need League Pass?" feeling that my heart is conveying that I have to acknowledge. And consequently, that means that my allegiance may wind up switching to...

... the Philadelphia 76ers. They are a fun team to watch. They have a bunch of good young guys who, unlike the Knicks' guys, have been given a chance to develop and the team is seeing the results. Then, during this offseason, they addressed one of their biggest needs, a post-up presence who can score, by signing Elton Brand who is a perennial All-Star when he's healthy. Philly is a good sports town, all their teams are successful... and hey, when in Rome...

Look, I'm not consciously doing this. This is very hard for me. This is a guy that used to tape most of their home games in the early 90s (while I was in h.s.) and rewatch many of them. However, unless something changes in N.Y., my time with the Knicks may be over. I'll have to see what my heart tells me when the season starts. This could be very bittersweet.

Random Notes 9.14.2008

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

On Cash

- With the way our currency has inflated over the history of our country, I got to thinking that it must not be worth it anymore to make pennies - i.e. it must cost more than a penny to actually produce a penny. These people think so. Will we actually get to the point where we phase out the penny? Seems like we're already there. There have been "Leave a Penny Take a Penny" bins at convenience stores for years, but now I've noticed that more recently, sometimes when I buy something, from local stores or chains, some clerks will just round up or down to the nearest 5 cent increment when giving you your change. The pennies are so freakin irrelevant.


- The way in which change is given physically has started to fucking irritate me. Let's say I buy a coffee, newspaper, and bagel from the local Wawa. Let's say it costs 3 dollars and change, and I pay with a ten. I'll take my wallet out of my pocket, produce the ten dollar bill, and the clerk will sequentially put the five, a one, and the coins in a pile in my outstrecthed hand. I then have to put the change down on the counter, put the bills in my wallet, then put my wallet away, pick the change up off the counter and put in my pocket. I would much prefer that the clerk places the change on the counter and hands me the bills while my wallet is out. Therefore, I would not have to put the change back on the counter. Nitpicky? Absolutely. It's just so inefficient. Maybe some people just like to stuff all the money, coins and bills, in their pocket? I don't know.


- How much money do people carry on them? In today's world, just about everything can be paid for using debit / credit cards. I've broken down and charged stuff like $1.00 at the post office, whereas I used to think that was gay ("Just use a dollar bill, jackass!" I'd think when I'd see somebody do this.) However, I realize that I usually feel comfortable with close to $100 in my wallet, if it's possible - even if I'm not planning on spending cash on anything. If I don't know with certainity that there isn't a spontaneous A.C. poker trip in my near future, I will find myself trying to have even more cash on me - say, near $300. But, I've rarely spent all of the cash I have on me, when I have near $100, without a reasonable chance to pass an ATM and get some more. I've talked to people, who aren't rich, that feel comfortable carrying several hundred dollars cash all the time ("Just incase"), and others who feel uncomfortable with cash of any decent amount. Cash is very handy if you are paying for something that you want to remain untraceable.

(Side note on this point: Some time ago, my brother and I were driving with our friend who was borrowing his stepfather's car. This friend's stepfather has a lot of money, and the borrowed car was a loaded Lexus, if memory serves. We go to McDonalds and the friend opens the glove compartment to reveal cash. A lot of cash. Stacks of hundreds. We estimated that there had to be several thousand dollars in there. My brother and I went nuts asking the friend about the money. "I don't know, guys, he just likes to have a lot of cash on him." I have no idea why, but it certainly seems shady for a guy to have several thousand dollars in cash on him, doesn't it? If there's anything legal that one would be buying for that much cash, wouldn't one be able to charge it?)


Finally, this is more about the economy than about cash per se, but the declining dollar has led some players to sign in Europe when they have the option to play in the NBA because it makes better economic sense! Wow.

2-3-2 vs. 2-2-1-1-1

The NBA playoffs are in full swing. They have been great. The two series going on now, Lakers/Spurs and Celtics/Pistons, are what people wanted. Right now, any of the four teams could realistically win it all. It's great.

Anyway, the point of this post: Why are the NBA playoffs in this 2-2-1-1-1 format, as opposed to a 2-3-2 format? If memory serves, they used to play finals in a 2-3-2 format, didn't they?

First of all, from a practical perspective, the 2-3-2 format saves teams money in travel expenses and builds some momentum in the visiting teams' city for the 3 middle games.

Competitively, if you're the home team, and you should get a big advantage for having the better record, wouldn't you rather have games 6 and 7 at home rather than just game 7? As the higher-ranked team, if you win your first two at home, even if you go 0-3 on the road you can still close it out at home.

Maybe I'm missing something obvious.

New York Knicks

Read this title, then read the article: http://nymag.com/news/sports/45787

It's becoming easier and easier to be a Sixers fan these days...

Random Notes 3/7/08

- Apparently Gnarls Barkley is coming out with a new album. Jerry's recent post about a band called Arcade Fire got me thinking about how much I loved Gnarls Barkley's St. Elsewhere album from a couple of years ago, and how much I was hoping they'd do something else. Can't wait to hear it.

- Regarding the NBA: The Lakers are freakin great nowadays. The Pau Gasol trade is the biggest steal since we visited Provincetown and Gold walked out with two Koosh balls. I think they'll win the title this year - either them or the Spurs. Conversely, the Suns giving up Shawn Marion for Shaq was one of the most poorly thought out, counterproductive, nonsensical moves I can imagine. The Suns, if they do make the playoffs, will get bounced out early. I think the Nets made out well in the Jason Kidd trade, and I don't think Dallas will be that much better, if better at all, with Kidd.

- I think that guys grow beards, in general, for one of these reasons: 1) They are insecure about the way their features look; 2) They think they look more masculine and are insecure about that; 3) They think they look more intelligent / sophisticated; 4) They are getting fat in the face and think they look thinner; 5) apathy about shaving... umm... there are probably several more. Anyway, I've grown one. Like, I haven't shaved in weeks. I have a photo I just took on my webcam but realized I can't post, due to the anonymity thing. So, I was wondering why I've grown one then. I'd love to say for me it's strictly #5 from my list, but in reality psychoanalysis would probably reveal that it's mostly #4 for me, with a some #3 and #5 thrown in. It's definitely not #1 or #2 (I'm a good lookin' nigga... income comin' in... my shit it set.) I've endured several Knocked Up-style beard jokes so far. Maybe I shouldn't shave until the Knicks fire Isiah.

- I fractured the fingertip of my right index finger playing basketball three weeks ago. Nothing was displaced / dislocated on my finger, but it's been annoying and I've had to wear this gay splint on the fingertip. It's really bizarre that the bone in the fingertip broke but the rest of the finger is intact.

- And finally, hasn't George Carlin started to resemble Walt Clyde's father, for those of you that know him?