J.F.K = P.I.M.P

John Fitzgerald Kennedy was an all time P.I.M.P! I was reading this old article in Time the other day about the woman JFK was rumored to be with. I don’t think I would be going out too far on a limb to say, assuming the rumors of woman are accurate, that JFK has the greatest all time resume for woman who he had slept with.

First, I do have to admit my bias for actresses of the 1950’s-1960’s. But, my bias aside let’s go over the highlights on his resume. First, Marilyn Monroe! Marilyn, talk about a home run. Allegedly, when JFK was bored, he passed Marilyn off to his brother, which is a very pimp game, plus he ran that game on Marilyn Monroe. Janet Leigh, who is my personal fav ever since watching Psycho at the age of 7. Jayne Mansfield, very good, very good (as Andy would say). Kim Novak, who I recently watched in Vertigo, whoa! Other names thrown out there in the JFK rumors are Angie Dickinson, Tempest Storm, and many others. Just think about that list for a second. Now, think for a moment that if the list is accurate, try to imagine the woman who were not famous, but were probably as physically attractive as the woman on this list who he was with. Rumors have him sleeping with a 1000 woman, plus recent people claim to have pics of him sun bathing with hot naked chicks all around him.

I think it’s also important to consider that Jackie was pretty hot. This is important, in that most presidents’ wives are not attractive. Think back over all the first ladies and I think you would hard pressed to find a woman as attractive as Jackie. I saw this special on the Kennedy’s on the History channel, and it was rumored that when one of his brothers got married, Jack leaned over to him right after his ceremony at the church and said “just cause’ you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t have other woman.” Very sleazy, but goes to validate the resume.

Today’s politicians and stars simply don’t have any list that cool. The most famous comparison is Bill Clinton. Monica Lewinski compared to Marilyn Monroe is laughable. Also, Elliot Spitzer and Ashley Dupre (client number 9), smh! Also, even other celebs who screw up their legacy with questionable woman, like Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee. All of these people stepped down in the quality of woman who they were with when the stepped out of their marriage. But not, JFK!

I know there are Hollywood men with impressive resumes, like Ben Affleck, Leonardo Dicaprio, and Jake Gyllenhaal (who, btw, is amassing quite an impressive resume himself). But, when you look at their lists, it pales in comparison to JFK. Assuming this list is accurate, no one can come close to touching this, all the while running the country! The modern day equivalent would be Barack sleeping with Beyonce, Shakira, Scarlett Johansson, and Jennifer Lopez.

I don’t think we will ever find someone with the resume of JFK again, especially in the world of politics. Supposedly, the media back then, would not only not report John’s affairs, but went as far as to cover them up. If someone from the media got a picture of Barack with his hand on Beyonce’s ass it would be on every media outlet from now until you threw up looking at the image. Let’s step back and think about the fact that not only was JFK the president of the country, but the probably the president of high-class poon as well!