Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Losing Touch with Maynod


Ok, so Maynod is just an alias for an old friend of mine, and all eight people who read this blog will figure out quickly who Maynod is. Maynod Nailcub, was a good friend of mine and my college roommate at Rutgers. We were very close, and now, we don’t talk at all. People come and go, in and out of your life, but losing touch with Maynod was very strange for me. Losing touch with Maynod has been very complex.

I met Maynod my first semester at Rutgers. Maynod did not blow me away in my first meeting with him. My first semester at Rutgers I lived with Maynod, my brother Walt Clyde, and a friend/acquaintance of Walt. Maynod, Walt and I met in the New Brunswick area prior to the beginning of the semester to get to know each other, and also talk about living together. I guess at the time, I was a little overwhelmed with moving away from home for the first time, so in my meeting with Maynod, I had more anxiety about being away from home, than I was concerned about connecting or getting to know Maynod.

My initial impression was that Maynod seemed a little strange, a Kramer (from Seinfeld) type. Maynod was Middle Eastern and had a bizarre appearance to me. He introduced himself by his nickname, and then quickly explained that his nickname was not connected to his male anatomy at all. Maynod seemed very eager, full of life, and borderline hyperactive. I was little concerned that we would not connect well, coming from two different backgrounds and personality styles.

However, when I started living with Maynod, we clicked right away. My brother Walt was very involved with his soon to be wife, and it wasn’t long after living with Walt that he spent majority of his time and his future wife’s dorm room. Our other roommate was very strange, was into ballroom dancing, and also kid of a mooch. He didn’t have any money, and was always grubbing. Maynod and I bonded over our dislike for the other roommate.

I found that Maynod and I had similar interests. Maynod and I both liked playing the same video games and we both smoked at the time. Maynod and I became friends with the girls who lived across the hall. Maynod introduced me to his friends that he had met in previous semesters, like Little Danny and Solo. I latched onto this group and we all became friends. I maintained a close friendship with Maynod, my best friend at Rutgers, until I graduated.

Over my time at Rutgers with Maynod, I had introduced him to various friends and acquaintances from my hometown of Teaneck. Maynod became friends with my friends from home. Two friends that Maynod grew particularly close with were my best friend Gold and Notorious LJT from Where’s Luke fame. Maynod also grew pretty close with everyone from my family. Throughout our time at Rutgers, and after graduation Maynod would remark how he felt that there was a bond between us that made us like “brothers.”

Maynod is smart and has a gift for gab. I think it is fair to say Maynod is charismatic. Maynod was an engineering major and landed a job at a big construction company after graduation. I began working in social services for the State of New Jersey. My best friend from home, Gold, who went to school in Wisconsin, moved back to the tri-state area and was working for the Quakers. Not wanting to live at home for a long time, I suggested to Maynod and Gold that we live together. Maynod was dating one of the girls that we met at Rutgers who had lived across the hall. Maynod, Gold, and I moved to Hoboken in the fall of 2002.

While living in Hoboken, Maynod professed to me several times that he really enjoyed working for corporate America. Maynod stated that he loved the company he was working for, but desired “more” out of life than engineering. After doing research, Maynod stated that he was going to be back to school to get his M.B.A.

Maynod moved away to upstate New York in 2004 to get his M.B.A. This is when I first started to lose touch with Maynod. Maynod and I would talk sporadically and less frequently than we ever had. LJT and Maynod seemed to be growing somewhat closer. LJT and I visited Maynod at his graduate school. For the first time, I felt there was a disconnect between Maynod and I. Maynod was still dating the girl from home, but also had engaged in a new relationship at school. LJT and I remarked to each other that it didn’t appear kosher. Maynod also appeared more career driven than ever before.

Upon graduation from his M.B.A program, Maynod landed a good job at a big corporation. Maynod became even more distant from everybody except, perhaps, LJT. Despite our growing disconnect, Maynod joined me and my family at Cape Cod in the summer of 2006 and we attended Side Bar’s wedding at Cape Cod. Maynod and I hung out most of the night and it appeared that our friendship had picked up where we once left off. Maynod visited me at my new apartment in Hackensack for a card game several months after the wedding.

However, there was still a growing divide between Maynod and the Teaneck crew. Maynod did not return calls from me, Gold, LJT and also from several of my Rutgers friends. It appeared that Maynod was intentionally distancing himself from his old friends.

The big incident that changed than course of our friendship came in 2007. Maynod had met a girl at his job working for his new big corporation. Maynod professed that he was doing very well at work and becoming a major player. Maynod stated that the woman that he met was also a big player in the organization. Maynod got engaged shortly after meeting her. Although Maynod stated that he wanted all his friends to meet his new partner, and attend their wedding, there was something amiss. Then, I got a call from LJT that Maynod had sent him a wedding invitation, in Maynod’s home country in the Middle East. LJT called me to inquire as to whether I would attend the wedding. I informed LJT that I not received an invitation yet. And, as it turns out, I never did receive an invitation!

I was very hurt that not only did Maynod not invite me to his wedding, but had invited someone that I introduced him to. I speculated why Maynod did not invite me. I reflected and felt that perhaps Maynod felt closer to LJT, or maybe Maynod felt that LJT was a better business connection. In the end, I never got an answer.

I waited several months and then tried calling Maynod. Maynod did not return the call. Then, in 2008, after a night of heavy drinking with LJT, Gold and other people from Teaneck, we called Maynod. We took turns leaving him inappropriate and mean messages. I guess it was official that the Teaneck crew and Maynod were broken up at that point.

To this day I have not spoken with Maynod. I have spoken individually with LJT and Gold about showing up at Maynod’s place of residence and inquiring why he has not called anyone back in three years. Although we concluded that showing up at Maynod’s house is borderline stalkerish, we speculated as to Maynod’s reaction. Would he not answer the door? Would he try and weasel out an excuse like he lost his phone which included the contact information for everyone he knew? We also joked that we should go to Maynod’s house in disguise to surprise him, like a Groucho Marx fake nose and glasses.

In any event, like a bad breakup with a girlfriend, I still want to know what happened between Maynod and I. What changed for Maynod? Does he feel bad that he never invited me to his wedding and did not know how to handle the situation after that? Does he feel that to move up in the corporate world, he needs to only be friends with people who work for corporations? I’m still left with more questions than answers and don’t have any closure to my relationship with Maynod.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yo B, you sound like a mad stalker in this post! Maynod (how the fuck did you come up with that, btw?) is gonna get a restraining order out on y'all and have you arrested when you come for your surprise visit! He's CRAAAZY!

popsrick said...

why would anyone respond with the 'anonymous' tag?????

Anonymous said...

I remember that original meeting. Maynod was certainly a different guy back then, compared to the guy you described in your post.

You do sound like a stalking ex-girlfriend. Let him go, girlfriend, let him go.

Joe Grossberg said...

Yo is he on Facebook? Reconnect, man. Maybe it's bc you're 1/4 Jewish? Ho yes.