Whoops

Blogger snafu... I decided to get rid of the silly Walt Clyde Frazier alter ego and post under my real name as I'm trying to consolidate the many email addresses I have... ... and all the old posts under Walt Clyde Frazier lost all the images somehow that they had. So, for all you people that go read all my old posts daily, you will have to do so without the pictures. Sorry. I'm sure everybody will survive.

New Jersey Dissected

Did we add this to the blog before?

A funny look at our beautiful home state, and I think not too far from the crude explanation I gave some time ago.

This made the rounds on email some time ago.

Ghosts of Teachers Past

I haven't shaved in weeks and have grown a full beard. This beard has some gray hairs scattered throughout. I'm only 35!

ANYWAY... as we all get older, memories of the past, unfortunately, start to fade - at least from conscious thought. Maybe all of those memories still are in our brains somewhere - like a vast file cabinet whose older papers just continue to get shoved backwards and are sitting there somewhere wrinkled and pressed together, but with the right stimulus, could be retrieved and revisited.

I was sitting here wondering if I remember not only who all of my high school teachers were, but even the classes I took each year in high school. I didn't think about this post ahead of time - I am going to try to type this and remember this information while I do it. I better start from 12th grade and work backwards. Some of this is probably inaccurate.

12th grade:
- SSMCIS (Math) - Dr. Decovsky
- AP Computer Science - Mr. Hanna
- AP English - Mrs. Twombly
- Science - AP Chemistry - Mr. Hali
- Study Hall
- Gym (I remember having Mr. Gardner, Mr. Cardell, and...? Don't remember which year was which. And I only remember Mr. Cardell because he did one-handed pushups once which I found impressive for an older guy.)
- Lunch
- No History or Foreign Language
(There is an open slot, I believe...?)


11th grade:
- SSMCIS (Math) - Mrs. Townsend?
- Computer Science - Mrs. Isaacs (I used to drive her insane)
- Science - Honors Physics - Dr. Arzt (I used to drive him insane also)
- Spanish - Ms. Torres (where I first met the Daffinator, who used to bring crosswords to class and demonstratively do them)
- Lunch
- Gym (see above note about teachers)
- English - Mr. Shanken? (this guy went to the same health club as me my senior year - Bally's in Fort Lee. One time I ran into him in the locker room and he was naked. Talk about awkward.)
- History - Mr. Burroughs. (He was a newer teacher.)


10th grade:
- SSMCIS (Math) - Mr. Elliot
- German - Ms. Mayers
- Spanish - Mrs. Taltavull?
- Science - Chemistry - Mr. Czeterko (future Superintendent of Teaneck schools)
- English - A woman named Mrs. Sumner who was older and apparently tripped over her cat and fell down a flight of stairs, causing her to miss a huge chunk of the year
- History - ?
- Gym
- Lunch
- Theater - Mrs. Johnson


9th grade:
- SSMCIS (Math) - Mrs. Delaplain
- German - Mrs. Mayers
- Science - Biology - Mrs. Jones, a red-haired woman?
- Gym
- Lunch
- History - ?
- English - ?
- Theater - Mrs. Walker


Some notes:

- I'd love to get a high school transcript to not only see my grades, but all my teachers to see how well I did on this list. Additionally, I'd love to see my disciplinary file, which was not replete with infractions but did have a couple of major incidents.

- The difference between honors and non-honors courses is striking. I remember being a kid and seeing a noticeable difference in accomplishments, classmates, classroom environment, etc... between my honors/AP subjects (Math, English, Science, Computer Science) and non-honors (foreign languages, social studies). Having taught everything in my 12 years of teaching from general levels (many, many times) to AP Calculus, I see the same differences now, and there doesn't seem to be much a teacher can do about it.

- Did we only have 8 time slots during the day? I thought we had 9. I believe it was 9.

- At age 25, I probably would have been able to recall this all accurately, fully, and with more detail.

- I think Teaneck's teaching staff was older than other towns - Teaneck was probably an attractive district to teach in the early 90s and teachers probably stayed there for a while. I don't remember too many teachers in their 20s, whereas a couple of the districts I've taught in have plenty of younger teachers.

- Interesting to think of these people as human beings, as well as teachers, now that I am one.

- I am interested to share more anecdotes and hear what other people remember about their high school setup. However, since I'm not sure if anybody reads this blog anymore, I won't go into more detail until somebody responds.

Where did the time go?

It was only a matter of time.

I had *the talk* with Nicholas this past weekend.

I think it went pretty well. I didn't stutter or stammer at all (as I feared I would).

2 more years, then Thomas.

Wow!

I’m usually behind the curve when it comes to new technologies. However, once I come around, I can’t believe that I went so long without it. Here are some over the past few years that I should have been doing from the onset:

1. Online banking. What was I thinking writing checks and keeping track of my balance on paper for so long? I was basically sticking to using an abacus, when a calculator was free and readily available. It’s free, easy to use, and you handle all your bills within seconds, as well as know how much is in your account.
2. GPS. For years I drove around with MapQuest pages, checking the odometer if I went “ .whatever” miles. The GPS is so great; I never even try to figure out where I am or where I need to get to …just listen to the machine.
3. Online food delivery. No more grocery store for only a few bucks, you say. Sold!
4. Smart Phones. I got my first one in 2008 and once you go Smart, you don’t go back. E-mail, Internet, Camera, Recorder, etc... All at your fingertips.
4A. TXT Messaging. How did anybody ever live without this?
5. Social Networking. I passed on Friendster and MySpace, but I compulsively check my news feed on Facebook. Its fun, easy and a great way to keep up with old friends, and link with new ones.
6. Netflix. To think, I used to have to drive to the blockbuster and put up with their late fees and bullshit! I don’t miss those guys at all.

Classic Posts - Family Feud

An old post about Family Feud from my old blog follows. BOTG talked about how ridiculous it was that the "triple" round basically decides the game, and renders the first two or three rounds as useless. Anyway, apparently it is still on TV. My thoughts from years ago follow.

The last time I've seen the show, I believe J. Peterman from Seinfeld was the host.


Why did I watch this show often as a kid, even though the structure of the show was ridiculous? Allow me to explain.


The overall premise wasn't too bad. Each family would have to guess what responses "100 random people" gave to random questions, usually about ordinary aspects of life. Whichever family performed better did the same in a final round with a chance to win money. Family Feud certainly is part of our cultural lexicon and has been a successful show for a long time.
 However, here are the three things that have started to bother me over time, in increasing order of annoyingness:



1) Why do they ask if a family wants to "Play" or "Pass" when they win the toss-up question? Theoretically, you'd see why a family would want to pass, I suppose... but, I'm sure in my lifetime I've watched this show at least 100 times and I've seen a family elect to pass maybe twice. It seems analogous to winning a coin flip in overtime in a sudden-death football game, and electing to "kick" rather than "receive". The best case scenario is that the other team fumbles or has to kick back, resulting in your possession... why not just receive in the first place?



2) It's annoying that sometimes a family gives what seem like "better" answers and they can't win a board because they miss one answer that is ridiculous that nobody would ever guess. I think the show's writers shouldn't use results to surveys if they are counterintuitive.



3) (This is what prompted me to write this post): The scoring structure is dumb. The family that gets to 300 points first wins. The first two rounds are usually worth close to 100 each, as the "top x answers are on the board" - and since 100 people were surveyed, the maximum amount of points each round is worth is usually somewhere between 80 and 100. 

Round 3 is worth 200 points, since scoring values are doubled. So, from time to time, a family will not only sweep each of the first three rounds, but also do so by sweeping the answers, and win after three rounds. However, this is not common. What usually happens is the game goes to a fourth round, where point values are tripled. So, often, the team that wins the triple round winds up winning the entire game, hence making the entire game up until this point almost insiginifcant. It would be kind of like a basketball game entering the 4th quarter and the referee going "Ok, since nobody is up by 30 points yet, let's have every basket for the last quarter count for 8 points each."


"Cold" does not equal "cool"

We all know it's "cool" to be "cool." But it is definitely not "cool" to be "cold." At least, not according the the pre-teen population here in Highland Mills, NY. As the splashing and bickering began to escalate in the pool today between my 8 year old, Thomas, and 10 year old, Nicholas, the following conversation was overheard:

T: (to Nick) "You're colder than me!"
N: "No. You're colder than me!"
T: "Oh yeah? You're always 3 times colder than me!"
N: "Well, you're 5 times colder than me!"
T: "Well, you're pi times colder than me!"
N: "You're infinity times colder than me!. Hah!"
T: "Pi is better because it never ends."
N: "Oh yeah? So is infinity! It never ends also!"

Squirrels

Squirrels, in my opinion, are in the same category of pest as the cockroach, the pigeon in NYC, and rats/mice. They are the rats of the tree world.

If you've ever lived in the suburbs, which almost 100% of us have, you've seen this crafty tough animal scamper around the trees in your yard. And if you've ever had a bird feeder, you know that these squirrels can perform almost impossible, remarkable physical feats to get at the feeders and eat the seed intended for birds.

Objectively, squirrels should be cute and harmless. However, I find them creepy, invasive and annoying. Mrs. Frazier has hung various feeders and the like around our yards in our various apartments, and now in our house. And, despite her best efforts, squirrels are almost impossible to keep away. Many people you'll talk to have "war stories" about keeping squirrels away from places in their yards.


Watch the following video as an illustration of their prowess as a squirrel runs an obstacle course. Amazing.





There are also many videos on YouTube of squirrels getting into bird feeders, such as the following, which for some reason creeps me out. It's like finding a rat in your kitchen pantry.

NBA Lockout

The more I think about the NBA lockout, the more I laugh and then almost cry (not literally, but I’ll be pissed if we miss any of this season). I was reading a couple of different sites, and the request from the owners seems to stem out of their bad decisions. Now, the owners want reform! But, they want to reform themselves. It also appears like the owners are outright bullshitting. So, in order for an NBA season, we have to hope the owners save themselves from … themselves.

From what I read a major problem with the current collective bargaining agreements is bad contracts. The Eddy Curry (or Sandman) example is constantly referenced and for good reason. Eddy had made 31 million over the course of the past three seasons and apparently, only played in 10 games. Also in those ten games, he wasn’t effective. The reasons behind Eddy’s failure to produce are due in part to his physical conditioning. Clearly this was a bad contract. The argument is put forth by the owners that contracts like Eddy’s, or Gilbert Arenas, is that they are stuck paying millions for long term deals for players who do not produce. Now, the funny thing about this “complaint” is that it is the owners who create the contracts they are complaining about! Nobody held a gun to James Dolan’s head and told him to give an overweight, unproven center millions. If Dolan overpaid, let him live with the consequences of being a bad owner and manager. On the other hand, Buss is not complaining about having to pay Kobe millions because he got the return on his investment. It’s called a business and there are no guarantees. If you want to help increase the probability that you make a profit, don’t make bad decisions!

Now, to the underlying issue… the owners are saying that only a few teams are profitable. I call bull shit! Granted I haven’t seen the books, but I’m inclined to believe the players that some of owners are hiding some of their revenue and inflating some of the costs. NBA games sell out on a regular basis, even in small markets, not to mention merchandise, and what TV and Cable Stations pay the NBA to broadcast the games. How many billion is collected in revenue from that? Also, I find it hard to believe that teams have been not making a profit for years. If they weren’t making a profit, did they run the teams out of charity? To entertain us? Bull! To steal a line from Uncle Junior from the Soprano’s this is clearly the case of a woman begging for food while holding a Virginia ham under her arm.

The owners need to be willing to budge, because, unfortunately, I like watching basketball, and they are clearly bullshitting. If the players make some concessions with their salaries, I guess the owners should have to learn to be better decision makers if they want to make a profit.

The King of Comedies

Mrs. Frazier and I were re-watching Talladega Nights the other night ("Why, if it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather"). By the way, I know my brother Beer-on-the-Girl is not a Will Ferrell fan. I do maintain that Talladega Nights is a consistently funny movie, even if its perhaps a bit over the top.

Anyway, afterwards I commented to Mrs. Frazier, "Wow, Will Ferrell's been in a handful of decent comedy movies. I wonder if there's anybody that's been in more than him." She responded, "Oh sure, there must have been. What about Eddie Murphy? How about Bill Murray?"

A good question... "Which actor has been in the most decent comedy movies?"

So we started naming famous actors that have been in a handful of comedy movies and going over their resumes. There is, of course, always some discussion about if particular movies qualify as "decent" or not.

Here are a handful of the first few famous comedy actors we thought of, and what may qualify as their "decent" comedy movies:

Will Ferrell: Austin Powers, Zoolander, Old School, Anchorman, Wedding Crashers, Talladega Nights

Bill Murray: Caddyshack, Stripes, Ghostbusters, Little Shop of Horrors, Scrooged, Groundhog Day

Steve Martin: Three Amigos, The Jerk, Little Shop of Horrors, Parenthood, My Blue Heaven, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Eddie Murphy: Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, Golden Child, Coming to America, Boomerang, The (first) Nutty Professor


Certainly, one could add or subtract comedies from each person's resumes, depending on one's opinion of what a decent movie is or not.

But the point: Two things stood out...

1) All of them have been in plenty of shitburger movies. Check out any of their resumes on IMDB. You will see a handful of movies in each person's resume that will have you saying, "Wow, they must have cashed in when they did that movie."

2) Look at the number of movies in each person's resume. What do you notice? They all only have 6 "decent" comedy movies! Why is there not one comedic actor that has 10 good comedies or more? Maybe many of them seem to have lost their comedic touch after they've been around for a while and aged. Bill Murray started doing serious, artsy films. Eddie Murphy got stuck in the kids movie rut and seemed to forget how to be funny.

So who is the king of comedy movies? Who did we overlook? Who has been in the most decent movies? And, what are the best individual comedic movie performances of all time?